Presidential Teleprompter Malfunctions; Chaos Ensues

President Obama hopes his teleprompter will changeDuring a routine photo op at the White House today with the Girl Scouts, the Presidential Teleprompter malfunctioned, causing chaos, panic and severe embarrassment for the administration.

The trouble started when President Obama was meeting with several girl scouts who had won awards for selling the most cookies.  Unbeknown to the President, his scheduled speech thanking the assembled Girl Scouts was not loaded in the teleprompter but his speech from last night during an intimate moment with the first lady was.

President Obama thanked the Girl Scouts for being at the White House and said “I know we often do not get a chance to be together.  But I’ve been dreaming of this all day.  Your uniform makes me so damn hot.”

As the audience looked on uncomfortably, President Obama continued.

“I fantasize about your smooth skin and what I would like to do to you.  Now get on your knees.  That’s right.  I’m tired of being the submissive one.  It’s your turn.  Take it all bitch.”

It was at this point that the Secret Service swung into action.

“We knew we had a serious problem on our hands.  Obviously the wrong speech was loaded in the teleprompter.  But you have to give the President credit.  He’s a trooper and was going to continue to say what was on the teleprompter come Hell or high water” said an agent.

As the Girl Scouts cried and looked on in horror the offending teleprompter was wrestled to the ground and shot five times.  The audience was hustled out of the room and a sheet was placed over the teleprompter.  The President was surrounded and his mouth covered.

“With the teleprompter down we didn’t know what he was going to do so we thought it best to keep him silent until the backup teleprompter could be loaded.”

At a press conference later that afternoon Press Secretary Robert Gibbs blamed the loading of the wrong speech on Republicans.

“Look, there are many people, mostly Republicans, who hate black people and still will not accept a black man as their President.  This was not the teleprompter’s fault.  I would urge all Americans to remain calm in the face of this crisis.  The President has ordered the FBI to conduct an investigation to discover how the wrong speech was loaded and who is responsible.”

He then named the two most likely suspects:  Rush Limbaugh and Pat Sajak.

The White House has canceled all of President Obama’s public appearances until the new teleprompter’s scheduled arrival sometime next week.



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