Browsing the blog archives for October, 2016
Santa Monica landlord Stanley Roper was arrested today and charged with murdering his wife and three of his tenants (Jack Tripper, Janet Wood and Chrissy Snow pictured here). “It was the most brutal thing I have even seen on the job” said a detective at the scene. He had cut his wife’s head and breasts […]
From the Proving Once Again That Our Republic is Doomed Department: Mayor Warren Wilhelm Jr. (stage name Bill de Blasio) and his poll ratings continue to rise. This despite his only known accomplishment being returning New York City to the unlivable shithole it was in the 1970s (minus the cheap rents). A recent Marist college […]
Auric Goldfinger, 42-year old expatriate from Riga Latvia, the richest man in England and treasurer of the Soviet counterintelligence agency SMERSH, expressed amazement and anger that the United States has abandoned the standard. “It just makes no sense” he told his operatives. To base your entire economy on a currency that is not backed in […]
The entire civilized world (excepting Scotland which has never been civilized) expressed horror and outrage over Donald Trump’s offensive comments about women. “I’m outraged and disgusted” said the leader of Respectable Citizens United Against Trump. This only confirms I was right in being outraged in the first place. But now I am even more outraged. […]
Spock, first officer of the Starship Enterprise, and 3-D chess champion of Star Fleet, has addressed long-standing rumors about his success. “I cheat” said the highly-decorated Vulcan. I’ve been cheating since I started playing. Cheating is fascinating and flawlessly logical. The humans place great emphasis on winning. I realized pretty early on if I was going […]
In a vote that was closely watched throughout the galaxy, the planet Vulcan today executed its long-threatened “Fed-Exit” and left the United Federation of Planets. The vote was close but logical with 52.5 percent voting to leave the Federation, 46 voting to remain and 1.5 percent voting to experience a “never-ending” pon farr until their testicles explode. […]
Lately the possibility of terror attacks by lone wolves has been in the news as Al Qaeda and ISIS branch out to commit attacks in the United States. Well today at Manhattan Infidel™ I have found a lone wolf who has agreed to speak to me exclusively. MI: Good morning, Lone Wolf LW: Back at ya. MI: Why […]
In a cost-cutting measure, Star Fleet announced that James T. Kirk, Captain of the Starship Enterprise, will not receive any new uniforms to replace ones he damages while on duty. “He was going to bankrupt us” said the Quartermaster General. We are already taking a lot of heat from civilians about how much Star Fleet […]
Today at the Worldwide Headquarters of the unstoppable journalistic juggernaut of Manhattan Infidel™ I have the pleasure of interviewing none other than Pig-Pen (no, not the guy from the Grateful Dead.) MI: Good [cough] afternoon Pigpen. PP: Good afternoon Manhattan Infidel. I must say I am pleased to be here. Most people want to interview Chuck or […]