Browsing the blog archives for September, 2016

St. Michael the Archangel Slays Dragon; Animal Rights Activists Threaten Lawsuit

St. Michael the Archangel is facing heat after slaying a dragon. Sources report that a battle of some sort broke out in Heaven and that the Archangel Michael, together with a cohort attacked and slew the dragon, which is protected under Heaven’s “Endangered Species Act.” As soon as it was confirmed that the dragon had […]

Captain Crunch Goes Rogue; U.S. Warplanes Ordered to Sink Crunch’s Vessel as President Meets in Emergency Session With Cabinet!

President Obama went into an emergency session with top cabinet officials today as they discussed what to do with long-time Navy veteran Captain Crunch, who appears to have gone rogue somewhere in the South Pacific. “This is obviously a very dangerous time and events are still fluid” said the Secretary of the Navy Ray Mabus. […]

An Address from Charlotte, North Carolina Mayor Jennifer Roberts

Not all is bad news for the city of Charlotte, North Carolina.  Stung by race riots Charlotte mayor Jennifer Roberts (pictured above) addressed her city, and by extension the country and the world, with a historic and compassionate speech that showed the best qualities of America. My fellow citizens of Charlotte: The past couple days […]

ISIS Guilty of Mustard Attack!

Top U.S. generals have confirmed that ISIS, or ISIL, or “those advocates of the Religion of Peace.” have launched a mustard attack on our troops in Iraq. “Nothing is more horrible than mustard in war” said General Joseph Dunford, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Unless it’s some of the stuff that passes for crackers. […]

Hipster Hillary Has Michael Bolton Perform at Fundraiser!

Proving once again that the Democratic party is the home to everything hip, Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton had legendary singer Michael Bolton perform at a fundraiser. “I wanted a performer that would energize our base of youthful voters” said running mate Tim Kaine. And who better than Michael Bolton. He’s popular and at 63 relatively young […]


Robin in Trouble with IRS!

Robin, renowned sidekick and “close personal friend” of Batman has announced that he is being audited by the Internal Revenue Service. “Yeah, they’re coming after me” said Robin. You know I’m not W2 I’m 1099. I’m an independent contractor working with Batman. I don’t technically work for Batman. I don’t know why he never hired me. […]

My Exclusive Interview with FBI Director James Comey

Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the pleasure of interviewing the Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, James Comey himself. MI: Good afternoon, Director Comey. JC: Please, call me Pedro Marcon. MI:  Um. Okay Pedro. JC: The trick to success in the FBI is stealth and hidden identities.  Pedro Marcon is one of my many aliases. MI: But […]


Khan Captured After Setting Off Bomb in Chelsea Neighborhood of Manhattan!

Khan Noonien Singh, fugitive from Earth’s eugenics war of the 1990s has been captured after setting off a bomb in Manhattan that injured 29 people. “It’s been a tense couple of days” said New York City mayor Warren Wilhelm Jr. (stage name Bill de Blasio). But we got him. Never again will New York City […]

My Exclusive Interview with Kanye West

Today at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ I have the pleasure of interviewing one of the more controversial entertainment figures of our day. None other than Kanye West himself. MI: Good afternoon Mr. West. KW: I am God’s vessel. MI: Um. KW: My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform. […]

Rich, Privileged Asshole Suffers Bout of Debilitating Depression!

Filthy rich elitist asshole Bruce Springsteen has come forward to talk about his bouts with “crippling depression” and how he overcame it. “I was lying in bed in one of the master bedrooms in one of my mansions” said the rich, privileged asshole. I forget which mansion but it’s the one where one of the […]