Browsing the blog archives for August, 2016
Respected physicist and widower Dr. David Banner who due to an accidental overdose of Gamma radiation becomes transformed into a violent, muscular green creature now says that he probably shouldn’t have devoted his studies to this. “You know I used to have a career. I used to be respected” said Banner. Then my wife died […]
Having interviewed noted environmentalist Leonardo DiCaprio before I was hesitant to do it again. But he kept insisting he had a story to tell. So I agreed. We met up at an unusual place for a multimillionaire jet-setter: A laundromat. MI: Good afternoon Mr. DiCaprio. LD: Please, call me Mr. Smith. That’s the name on my passport […]
We here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ are known to spend the weekends during fall on the couch watching football. And so it gives me great pleasure to interview the quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers, Colin Kaepernick. MI: Good afternoon Mr. Kaepernick. CK: It’s not a good afternoon in the ‘hood, whitey. MI: What? CK: I […]
Famous Sesame Street resident Oscar the Grouch has written a formal letter of complaint to the Sesame Street block association protesting what he feels is harassment designed to get him to leave the neighborhood. “Why don’t people leave me alone” said Oscar. I don’t like people. I don’t want to be around them. I just […]
Being, like our President Barack Obama something of a Constitutional scholar, it is my distinct pleasure to interview none other than the so-called “Father” of our Constitution, James Madison himself. MI: Good day to you Mr. Madison. JM: Good day to you Manhattan Infidel. MI: First off sorry about the British burning the Executive Mansion. JM: I […]
Here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ we have interviewed many important people over the years but today is a our first interview with a convicted murderer serving a life sentence. Ladies and gentlemen I give you Charles Manson. MI: Good afternoon Mr. Manson. CM: I’ll cut you and smear your blood on the wall! MI: What? […]
Tears streamed down Kanye West’s face as he addressed the cameras. I hate the way they portray us in the media. If you see a black family it says “They’re looting.” You see a white family? They’re looking for food. We already realize that a lot of people who could help are at war right […]
Being something of an investigative reporter (it was yours truly who broke the story that Hillary Clinton was a robot) I was immediately drawn to the scandal in Rio involving our swimmers. I am dedicated to the truth and only the truth in my investigative journalism. I have a ruthless and cold-blooded dedication to the […]
The Tooth Fairy announced today that effective immediately he will begin winding down business and will close his offices completely by October 1st. After October 1st children are advised to “not lose their teeth.” “Times change” said the Tooth Fairy in a released statement. My business model was no longer profitable. I got into […]
A Greek statue, tired of jokes being made about his penis, has decided to wear boxer shorts from now on. “I mean look at me” said the distraught statue. It’s bad enough I have no chest hair but what about down there you know? My thumb is bigger! I kept telling the sculptor that’s now […]