Why do black folk always flood their neighborhoods when I’m playing golf?

Tears streamed down Kanye West’s face as he addressed the cameras.

I hate the way they portray us in the media. If you see a black family it says “They’re looting.” You see a white family?  They’re looking for food. We already realize that a lot of people who could help are at war right now and they’ve given them permission to go down and shoot us! Barack Obama doesn’t care about black people!

Up to this point the star-studded extravaganza that was the Concert for Baton Rouge had gone off as planned. Hundreds of celebrities had given their time to raise money for the flood victims.

But West’s comments ignited a firestorm and became known at the defining moment in the black rage movement of the 21st Century.

“Barack Obama doesn’t care about black people radicalized me” said a young black man from Baton Rouge.

Kanye voiced my anger over the situation.  If white people had been caught in the floods you bet a half white like Barack Obama would be down here right now. But no. Where is he? Our people are dying and he’s playing golf! The white man’s game!

Even the former slave holder Donald Trump (pictured here)

Donald Trump oversees his plantation

showed up to see the devastation first hand and to hand out water and food. Though his motive was probably just to see that none of his human property was damaged.

But Barack Obama? The President of the United States? He was nowhere to be seen.

At the White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest stated that President Obama has nothing but sympathy for the flood victims.

“The President is a compassionate man” he said.

But he is also a nuanced and intelligent man. He rejects the conventional politics of image association. He dislikes visiting natural disasters and being photographed comforting victims.

A rare photo of President Obama not offering comfort at the site of a natural disaster

This doesn’t do anyone any good. The President is a practical man. A man of action. That is why he is ordering the roundup of all guns in Baton Rouge. This will help keep the peace.

Despite the President’s courageous stance against photo ops, the Republicans opposition continued to hammer Obama for his absence from the flood zone.

“Can you imagine what the response would be if a Republican president ignored a disaster area” stated the racist Breitbart.com web site.

Stunned and disgusted by the criticism, President Obama vowed to tour the flood zone.

“Why the hell do black folk always flood their property when I’m playing golf” declared the visibly annoyed President.

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