My Exclusive Interview with Charles Manson

Kids nowadays have it so easy

Kids nowadays have it so easy

Here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ we have interviewed many important people over the years but today is a our first interview with a convicted murderer serving a life sentence. Ladies and gentlemen I give you Charles Manson.

MI: Good afternoon Mr. Manson.

CM: I’ll cut you and smear your blood on the wall!

MI: What?

CM: Sorry.  Force of habit.

MI: So tell me, you are famous for the Tate-Labianca murders where you wrote Helter Skelter in blood on the walls.  You were anticipating a race war?

CM: Yes I was. I was listening to the Beatles and their lyrics were all about the race war that was on the horizon.  I decided to have my followers commit those murders to jump start the war for the brothers.

MI: And what happened?

CM: Nothing. The brothers didn’t rise up. No race war. I was left high and dry.

MI: Why do you think that was?

CM:Trouble getting the message out. 

MI: Really? How so?

CM:Well we committed the murders of privileged white folk thinking blacks would see it as a sign. Instead the press spun the murders as the works of a crazy man.

MI: That must have made you angry.

CM: Furious. When a tiny majority are the gatekeepers of the message then the truth doesn’t get out.

MI: So true. Let’s fast forward to 2016. It looks like finally the race war you wanted back then is upon us.

CM: Yes I know. I’m excited.

MI:Why is it happening now?

CM: Man you kids have it so easy. We didn’t have 24 hour cable news networks back in my day. 

MI: So you think they have helped stoke the flames of race war?

CM: Shit man. I love cable news. They have to fill up 24 hours of airtime with something don’t they? Man I’m just imagining what I could have done with cable news back in 1968. I would have been President!

MI: So cable news – 

CM: And let’s not forget the internet. I didn’t have that back in ’68. Now it is so much easier to get the word out to the brothers that the race war has started and that the man should be killed. This is all in my blog:  Pictures of cats.

MI: Pictures of cats?

CM: Yes. Well there aren’t any pictures of cats on the blog since we aren’t allowed pets in the slammer so it’s mainly pictures of my penis and instructions for the brothers on how to foment race war. I called it pictures of cats because I’m media savvy.

MI: Right. Before I go one last thing. Have you heard from any of the Beatles? What did they think of the whole using their lyrics to justify race war?

CM: I haven’t heard from any of them. Except for Ringo. He calls me all the time and tells me I so had the meaning of the lyrics right.

MI: Really? Ringo?

CM: I think so. It might be Pete Best. All I know is the dude’s a former Beatles drummer who hates Paul McCartney. All he does it bitch about Paul.

MI: Well that’s about all the time – 

CM:Would you like to see my penis?


CM:Then how about promoting my blog. You know. Professional courtesy. One blogger to another.

MI: Fine.  I’ll mention it in the blog post.

CM: Great thanks. Oh, I’m still going to have my followers cut you and smear your blood on the wall. Nothing personal. It’s for the war.

And so ended my interview. Is that a knock at the door? Why are they carrying knives? This is Manhattan Infidel signing off for what may be the last time.


2 Responses

  1. The Muse says:

    They better not let that Nut Job out!!! Or he might bite all the guards and journalists in the neck and escape. Keep looking over your shoulder!!!

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