Robin in Trouble with IRS!

I got nothing to hide man. Abolish the IRS!

I got nothing to hide man. Abolish the IRS!

Robin, renowned sidekick and “close personal friend” of Batman has announced that he is being audited by the Internal Revenue Service.

“Yeah, they’re coming after me” said Robin.

You know I’m not W2 I’m 1099. I’m an independent contractor working with Batman. I don’t technically work for Batman. I don’t know why he never hired me. He keeps promising to. I took this job because it was a contract to hire position. Or at least Batman said it was. What it all boils down to is the cheap bastard doesn’t want to pay payroll taxes for any employees. Even Alfred the butler is a contractor. Different agency of course. He’s support staff not a highly qualified crime fighter such as myself. And you’d think that as a highly qualified crime fighter the IRS would cut me some freaking slack!

Robin’s plea that IRS cut him some slack appears to have fallen on deaf ears.

“The IRS has a responsibility to collect revenue” said IRS commissioner John Koskinen.

We must generate revenue for the government. After all, without the taxable income the government covets who would build roads and schools? And frankly it doesn’t matter if your job is in the public interest, such as crime fighting. Police, firemen, doctors and nurses all have to pay their taxes,whether they are W2 or 1099. As an independent contractor Robin has a responsibility to calculate his taxes and submit them to the government on a quarterly basis. He hasn’t done this. That is why we are auditing him.

Despite Koskinen’s explanation Robin remains defiant.

Screw the government. We had roads and bridges and schools before the 16th amendment. I’m sick of the government and I’m not giving them a drop of my income. If I have to I’ll renounce my citizenship and live offshore. That way they can’t get their money-grubbing hands on me. It’s shit like this that made me register libertarian. No government is the best government. Leave us alone. You want less criminals? Don’t pass stupid laws. Do you know what Batman and I did yesterday? We went after some guy who was selling cigarettes without paying taxes. Crime fighting my ass. Sometimes it feels like we are only generating revenue for the state.

Robin’s nominal supervisor, Batman has cautioned a more politic approach.

I keep telling Robin to tone it down. I can’t afford to piss off the government. If I do they have the power to tax me out of business. Only two things scare me. Catwoman and the IRS. Oh, and shellfish. Yeah I have horrible allergies. Once while chasing the Joker I ate some shellfish for lunch. I swelled up so badly Robin had to finish the job. He f*cked it up. Actually he f*cks everything up. Thank god I’m not paying any payroll taxes for him.

The IRS has given Robin one month to come up with the money he owes them.

“If we don’t get our money in a month we’re going to sue his ass off. Then the only crime he will be fighting will the advances of his cellmate” said an official at the IRS’s Gotham branch office.


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