Browsing the blog archives for September, 2014

The Apocalypse of Leonardo DiCaprio

In late 2014 distinguished actor and climate change activist Leonardo DiCaprio was named a Messenger of Peace by the United Nations.  Shortly after this, when unscientific Republicans gained control of the Senate he was exiled to the rocky island of Martha’s Vineyard for his witness to the settled science of climate change. Shortly after his […]

GroundHog Gate Scandal Grows!

The scandal surrounding the assassination of Staten Island Chuck by hulking socialist freak Warren Wilhelm Jr. (stage name Bill de Blasio) continues to rock the very foundations of our Republic. Here are the facts: On February 2nd, Groundhog Day, as is tradition, the hulking socialist freak Warren Wilhelm Jr. went to the Staten Island Zoo […]

Trial of Frankenstein Starts!

The sensational trial of the Frankenstein monster, charged with drowning a little girl is set to start this Monday. “This is a slam dunk” said the District Attorney. Yeah, yeah, yeah, everyone is innocent until proven guilty but this guy is guilty as sin.  Just look at his face. It’s the face of a murderer. […]

Your 2014 Yankees: The Sad End to a Sorry Season

“It’s designed to break your heart.  The game begins in spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone.” ~ Bart Giamatti. And so on a cold, overcast […]

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President Obama Orders Bombing of Scottish Militants

Reacting to outrage over atrocities committed by Scottish separatists, President Obama today ordered a series of strikes at the heart of the Scottish Caliphate. “The civilized world has seen the horrors of the advance of Scottish culture” declared the President. We as a people can no longer stand by and watch the Scottish overrun the […]

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The Tweets of a Raving Madwoman

Here at the Worldwide Headquarters™ of Manhattan Infidel we cover a lot of topics. Some are political.  Today instead of politics I’d like to do a horror post. I will cover the truly horrifying tweets of the raving madwoman known as Nancy Pelosi.  Be warned.  These tweets are not for the faint of heart.  Also […]

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Your 2014 Yankees: The Police State USA Edition

“That’s baseball, and it’s my game. Y’ know, you take your worries to the game, and you leave ’em there. You yell like crazy for your guys. It’s good for your lungs, gives you a lift, and nobody calls the cops. Pretty girls, lots of ’em.” ~Humphrey Bogart On a rare Saturday 4 pm start […]

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Frankenstein Joins Match!

The Frankenstein monster, tired of being single and dissatisfied with the women he was meeting has joined the online dating community Match.Com “I was hesitant to join” says the monster. Online dating frankly has such a bad reputation but a friend of mine, the Mummy, said I should give it a try so I joined.  We’ll […]

Manhattan Infidel’s Guide to Self-Defense

Here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ I often find myself worrying about my readers.  It is a dangerous world out there and bad things happen.  And I don’t mean just the bad things that happen involving Charlie Sheen, cocaine, questionable hair plugs and a trannie hooker. I care about the well-being and safety […]

Drone Strike Ordered on White House After Security Breach

The White House was put on lockdown after a toddler squeezed through the security gate and ran onto the North Lawn. “We saw unauthorized movement on the North Lawn” said a Secret Service agent. We had a brief moment of panic because we didn’t know the identity of the transgressor.  Was it a teabagger?  What […]