Browsing the blog archives for August, 2014
The Borg Collective have announced that they will be converting many of their “Cube” spaceships into co-ops starting next Spring. “I don’t have to tell you that traveling throughout space assimilating cultures is expensive” said the Borg Queen. Our ships don’t run on prairie farts and pixie dust. They need a source of energy. Also […]
Mark A., bassist for the Bay City Rollers cover band “If It’s Not Scottish It’s Crap” has announced on his twitter feed that he has obtained a groupie. “It’s true. I couldn’t be happier. Me with a groupie!” said the tweet, published at 8:27 pm local time. Mark A. then went on to describe how […]
Bullwinkle J. Moose, resident of Frostbite Falls, Minnesota was shot today while walking in the woods. Source report that Bullwinkle and his companion, Rocky the flying squirrel, were out for a morning stroll when they were spotted by a local hunter. “I was looking for a deer but then I saw this moose. I couldn’t […]
As the entire world’s attention has focused on the tiny town of Ferguson, Missouri where a black youth was shot dead by a white officer resulting in race riots, the Worldwide Headquarters™ of Manhattan Infidel has struggled with a way to cover the story. Should I go to Ferguson? No. My colleagues in the media ministry […]
“A hit, a very palpable hit” ~ Osric, Hamlet Act V scene II Yankee tradition. Yankee honor. Yankee dominance. Well, that’s what the Yankees used to stand for. But this is 2014 and the Yankees suck more than Clay Aiken during Fleet Week. The Yankees having won the first two of a three game series […]
Completing my series of posts designed to edify my readers by giving them knowledge that they can use in the fundamentally transformed America I now present: Social studies! Because without social studies one has to spend more time in gym class. And I wasn’t good in gym. In fact I used to be chosen after […]
“Poets are like baseball pitchers. Both have their moments. The intervals are the tough things” ~Robert Frost On a Wednesday nightt in Da Bronx the New York Yankees and Houston (pronounced How-ston) Astros interrupted having sex with people they’ve never met before to play a baseball game. The Yankees stated Michael “Pine Tar” Pineda (2-2 2.05) and the […]
Continuing with my series designed to educate my readers I now present American history: history that is living, breathing, non-judgmental, inclusive and progressive. P.S. All these questions are taken from a common core textbook. George Washington crossed an icy Delaware River because It was a last-ditch attempt to keep the colonial army together and defeat […]
Here at the worldwide headquarters of the journalistic juggernaut that is Manhattan Infidel we strive to provide the latest news not covered by the MSM. We also strive to better the lives of our readers. Because a well-informed, sophisticated, knowledgeable reader will be forty percent less likely to call the police after I send them tasteful […]
The economy is bad. We all know it. I hear it from people all the time. They ask me where they can find work. They also ask me “Manhattan Infidel, can you spare a dime for an American down on his luck?” and “Please I won’t tell anyone. Let me out of your basement.” But enough about […]