Your 2014 Yankees: The Shakespeare Edition

“A hit, a very palpable hit” ~ Osric, Hamlet Act V scene II

You can see the suck for miles.

You can see the suck for miles.

Yankee tradition.  Yankee honor.  Yankee dominance.  Well, that’s what the Yankees used to stand for.  But this is 2014 and the Yankees suck more than Clay Aiken during Fleet Week.

The Yankees having won the first two of a three game series against the Chicago Sox of non color started Chris Capuano (1-3 4.35) and the Sox Chris Sale (10-3 2.12).

The Sox of non color scored first.  Alexei Ramirez led off the top of the first and on the second pitch homered to left field.  1-0 Sox of non color after one.

And so the score stayed 1-0 until the top of the sixth.   After a Jose Abreu single and a strikeout by Avisail Garcia, Conor Gillaspie on a 2-0 pitch hit a two-run home run to right field.  3-0 Sox of non color after 5 1/2

A hush fell over Yankee Stadium.  A hush more deafeningly silent than Barack Obama’s reaction to the slaughter of Christians in the Middle East.

Normally a 3-0 deficit would be insurmountable to the 2014 Yankees.  Just like the debt of the United States, it was a cause for doom and gloom.

But wait!  After Derek Jeter led off with his customary ground out, Martin (pronounced Marteeeeeeeeeen) Prado hit a routine fly ball to left field that should have been the second out but was dropped by left fielder Dayan Viciedo.  (You know they give baseball players funny names nowadays like Who’s on first, What’s on second and I Don’t Know’s on third.)  Mark “Vertigo” Teixeira then doubled Prado home. Carlos Beltran and Francisco Cervelli walked loading the bases.  Right fielder (Over) Zealous Wheeler was hit by the pitch bringing home Teixeira.  Ichiro Suzuki then singled home Beltran and Cervelli.  4-3 Yankees after six.

Would the Yankees pull off a sweep?  Still with the lead closer David Robertson was brought in for the ninth and on the first pitch Avisail Garcia homered to right field.  4-4 after nine.

Extra innings (extra time I believe soccer lovers call it).

After the Sox of non color failed to score in the top of the tenth it was the Yankees turn.  Prado and Teixeira both struck out. Beltran doubled and Chase Headley was intentionally walked so the Sox could pitch to the scheduled batter Francisco Cervelli.  However Cervelli was called back to the dugout for a pitch hitter.  Out stepped Brian McCann (pictured here).

Brian McCann before he started shaving his head.

Brian McCann before he started shaving his head.

Would McCann be our savior? The answer is yes.  He hit a walk off three run home run to right field.  Yankees win 7-4.

David Huff (4-1 4-07) got the win for the Yankees while Jake Petricka (0-3 2.57) suffered the loss for Chicago.

Notes on the game:

Your humble blogger was lucky enough not to have to go through the trial metal detectors the Yankees have set up.  Starting next year, however, metal detectors will be required at all entrances to every Major League ballpark.  This is done for our safety of course.  Not because the people running security firms have paid MLB millions of dollars. It’s bad enough I have to take my cap off (in case I am packing a bomb on the top of my head) and empty my pockets (in case I have set up my cell phone to explode).  I shouldn’t have to do this.  No American should. Thank you Homeland Security.

Instead of my normal tickets in the bleachers I was in the upper deck sitting among three rows of a busload from an AA group.  I really wanted a beer but didn’t want to be responsible for 60 people falling off the wagon so I abstained.

The Manhattan Infidel heckle of the game:

My heckle of “Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war” didn’t fire up the crowd.  Though some thought I was talking about pit bulls and screamed in fear.

Reader mail:

W.S. of Stratford-upon-Avon writes, “For Brutus is an honorable man; so are they all, all honorable men.”

He must be talking about government bureaucrats.

A.P of Poughkeepsie, New York writes, “Out out brief candle!  Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.”

Speaking of tales told by idiots full of sound and fury signifying nothing, have you seen MSNBC’s ratings?  Any lower and they’d be Al Jazeera.

L.K. of New Jersey writes, “My love’s more richer than my tongue.”

Until you get your tongue pierced that is.

Someone who calls themself L.T. of New York writes, “It rubs the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again.”

I don’t recognize that Shakespeare quote.  Is it from Coriolanus?

Recommended reading material:

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson.

My record this year stands at 4-7.  My next game is Friday September 5th against the Kansas City Royals.  (You know I was in Kansas City once.  I counted 20 gas buggies  going by themselves every time I took a walk. Then I put my ear to Bell telephone and a strange woman started into talk. Everything’s up to date in Kansas City.  They’ve gone about as fur as they can go.)

Go Yankees!


2 Responses

  1. petermc3 says:

    Hey Infidel, take a day trip to south Jersey and KC will seem to be the booming metropolis that it ain’t. While here If you see a Macys parade balloon on the streets of Trenton thats only our governor kicking’ out the jams.⛄️
    Let’s go Mets!!

  2. Shakespeare, didn’t he pay catcher for ’59 Yanks?

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