Browsing the blog archives for July, 2014

The Progressive Annotated Declaration of Independence (Part VII)

And now for Part VII of my series on the new and improved annotated Declaration of Independence.  I vow to continue with this series until I am stopped by my political enemies.  Or until the police arrest me for once again standing by the window with no pants on.  Come to think of it, the […]

The Progressive Annotated Declaration of Independence (Part VI)

And so dear readers let us continue with our improvement of the Declaration of Independence. (Declaration and Constitution not valid in continental United States.) He has constrained our fellow Citizens [1] taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms [2] against their Country, to become the executioners  [3] of their friends and Brethren, or to fall […]

Dear ________________: (A Letter From the EPA)

As is often the case here at the worldwide headquarters of Manhattan Infidel, disturbing stuff gets deposited on my desk (and not just last night’s 3 am taco.  With bacon.)  In this case it is a letter that the Environmental Protection Agency will be sending out to all Americans. Dear _________: It has come to the […]


The Progressive Annotated Declaration of Independence (Part V)

Continuing the series that has won me fame and acclamation can you spare a quarter for an American down on his luck around the blogosphere I now present for your reading pleasure Part V of the Progressive Annotated Declaration of Independence. For abolishing the free System of English Laws [1] in a neighbouring Province, establishing […]

Galactic Empire Institutes Measures to Make Death Star Cost Efficient

The Death Star, the ultimate weapon of the Galactic Empire, will be retrofitted with green technology, making it cheaper, more efficient and friendly. “It is our deepest hope that the Death Star will become a place we can be proud of” said Emperor Palpatine. Galactic Domination isn’t cheap. I have heard the criticism of the […]

NYPD Institute Controversial Stop and Kill Policy

As part of the NYPD’s new “Totally not stop and frisk” policy the NYPD killed a man for selling untaxed cigarettes. “Police on the ground had received word that a man was selling untaxed cigarettes” said NYPD commissioner William Bratton. The NYPD’s first job is to enforce the law.  And to repeat, these cigarettes were […]


The Progressive Annotated Declaration of Independence (Part IV)

And now for Part IV of my award-winning  thank god no one reads my blog or the government would be all over me series The Progressive Annotated Declaration of Independence.  I do this to help our progressive friends better understand this difficult, old and obscure document. He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing […]

Eat Along With the President: Your Handy Obama Policy Disaster Eating Guide

A plane is shot down by the Russians.  Israel begins an invasion of the Gaza Strip.  Central Americans by the tens of thousands cross the southern border every day.  What do all these disasters have in common?  The bear is loose!  President Obama will reassure panicked Americans that he is firmly in charge by going […]

Your 2014 Yankees: The Climate Change Edition

“With those who don’t give a damn about baseball, I can only sympathize. I do not resent them. I am even willing to concede that many of them are physically clean, good to their mothers and in favor of world peace. But while the game is on, I can’t think of anything to say to […]


Batgirl Sues Batman, Robin

Famous Gotham City crime fighter Batgirl has filed a lawsuit against fellow crime fighters Batman and Robin, citing, “a pattern of sexual abuse and defamation of character resulting in a loss of promotion opportunities.” “Originally I was very excited to join Batman and Robin” said Batgirl in her deposition. Here I was a woman fighting […]