The Declaration of Independence suffers from White Privilege

Continuing the series that has won me fame and acclamation can you spare a quarter for an American down on his luck around the blogosphere I now present for your reading pleasure Part V of the Progressive Annotated Declaration of Independence.

• For abolishing the free System of English Laws [1] in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries [2] so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:
• For taking away our Charters,[3] abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments: [4]
• For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever. [5]
• He has abdicated Government here, [6] by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us. [7]
• He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, [8] and destroyed the lives of our people. [9]
• He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries [10] to compleat the works of death, [11] desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy [12] scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

1. The English are typical white people.  English law represents typical white people.  
2. Everything must be centralized.  I don’t know who originally said that.  I think it was Bob Dylan in Rainy Day Woman #12 and #35.  But back to my point, separation of powers is racist as it allows Republicans to institute their dastardly love of limited government.
3. No one knows what this refers to.  If it is a reference to charter schools then it is racist. Boy the 18th century!  How backward.
4. I am sure we can all agree that it is time we fundamentally altered the form of our government.  Perhaps a parliamentary system like in Europe. I feel smarter even suggesting that!
5. What is it with conservatives and their love of separation of power? Is it just to keep the black man down?  Rule by one man is more efficient and enlightened.  And let’s not even start on how separation of powers leads to climate change.
6. President Obama is not going to visit the border.  He is a true leader and has no interest in photo ops.
7. The Tea Party and their sympathizers represent the greatest terror threat in the world today.  They must be wiped out by any means necessary.
8. President Obama has done none of this.  He cares about the environment and has done everything in his power to stop the rise of sea levels.
9. You’re talking about the war on the coal industry aren’t you?  President Obama’s first priority is protecting the environment.  The out of work coal miners can always go to college and get a degree in feminist studies or the Marxist dialectic.
10. They aren’t foreign if you do not recognize the nation state.  We are all citizens of the world and our loyalty lies with the U.N.
11. Oh come on!  The death panels created by the Affordable Care Act haven’t even begun operation yet.
12. Perfidy?  Really?  Is that even a word?  Next thing you know you’ll be calling me niggardly.  And the “N” word should never be spoken.

(End of Part V)

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