Browsing the blog archives for June, 2014

Hillary’s Firm, Erect, Throbbing Choices

I like to read so when former First Lady, former Senator from New York, former Secretary of State and future 45th President Hillary Rodham Clinton released her 650 page memoir I had to scoop it up. I spent the entire night in an alley shooting up reading this fascinating tale of power, intrigue and betrayal and I’d like […]


Super Mario Sees Healthcare Costs Skyrocket!

Popular New York City plumber Mario is reportedly seeking to decertify his union. “My a union!  They a lie a to a me!” said Mario in his thick Italian accent. I spend-a my day in the sewers of New York City, jumping and a jumping and a jumping.  Signore Mario no young any more.  Jumping it […]

Executive Order Creates New Department of Feline Education

President Obama today issued a sweeping executive order creating the Federal Department of Feline Education. “America faces perhaps no greater threat than feral cats mired in the vicious cycle of poverty” declared the President in a Rose Garden ceremony. Many are familiar with the tragic case in New York City where signs were placed in […]

SWAT Team Kills Local Boy Eating Unauthorized Ice Cream Cone!

Tragedy struck the small town of Pleasant Valley New York today as a SWAT team member was injured while taking down a six-year old boy. Sources report that the trouble started when Billy Donaldson, a town resident was eating an ice cone on the curb in front of his house. “We had reports of a […]

Budget Tips From Hillary Rodham Clinton

Budgets. We all have to make them and follow them.  At the worldwide headquarters of Manhattan Infidel we follow very strict budget:  Thirty dollars a week for food, 300 dollars a week for hookers and 400 a week for ointments, creams, gags, whips and assorted “funsize” toys.  And we all know what happens when one […]

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Have You Considered a Career in the CIA?

As many young people have recently graduated college they may receive employment brochures in the mail.  As a public service to my readers I now present one of them: Hello to all recently graduated college students.   My name is John O. Brennan and I am the director of the Central Intelligence Agency.  Many of you […]

Your 2014 Yankees: The Vulnerable Groin Area Edition!

“No game in the world is as tidy and dramatically neat as baseball, with cause and effect, crime and punishment, motive and result, so cleanly defined”~Paul Gallico On Thursday night at the House that the Taxpayers of New York City Built™ the Yankees hoped to sweep the Blue Jays and continue their dominance against them […]


Spam (The Product Was Excellent Edition)

Being a blogger means two things: I have never known the touch of a woman I have to find other sources of income With that in mind it it time for a visit to the Spam Factory.  Spam Factory not valid where prohibited by law.  Spam Factory valid only in continental United States.  Spam factory…….oh […]

Draft Message From the Internal Revenue Service’s General Counsel

Using my god-given investigate skills I was able to obtain a draft of this yet-to-be-released memo to all IRS employees from their lead counsel.  It is my hope that this document will help us make light of the recent scandals involving the organization: As you may know this has been a rough year for the […]

Manhattan Infidel’s Guide to the World Cup

As anyone who has been kicked out of their favorite bar recently by tons of Eurotrash knows, the so-called “World Cup” is currently being played in the slums of Rio de Janeiro.  (And much thanks to the homeless who graciously agreed to be moved so that the stadiums could be built.) While Manhattan Infidel finds soccer […]