Super Mario Sees Healthcare Costs Skyrocket!

My union lied to me!

My union lied to me!

Popular New York City plumber Mario is reportedly seeking to decertify his union.

“My a union!  They a lie a to a me!” said Mario in his thick Italian accent.

I spend-a my day in the sewers of New York City, jumping and a jumping and a jumping.  Signore Mario no young any more.  Jumping it a hurt Signore Mario’s legs and a back!  I go to hospital a frequently.  Mario no a like a the bills!

Mario’s union, The International Brotherhood of Sewer Dwelling Plumbers supported Barack Obama in the 2008 election, in no small part because he promised to reduce healthcare costs.

My union a tella me, vote a for a the black man.  He’s a clean cut and articulate. Mario not citizen!  My congressman he a tell a me that a okay I a canna still a vote a. Mario a vote a for a the black a man.  Twice a!  Mario’s health a care a costs no go a down!

Under the implementation of the Affordable Care Act Mario has seen his monthly premium rise from 160 dollars deducted from his paycheck to $325 deducted monthly.

Mario a no a canna afford a that!  Mario need a to a buy a food and a pay a rent. Mario hurt a the back a jumping.  Always a jumping and a jumping.  Mario have a repetitive a stress a syndrome in a my shoulder.  I carry a the hammer all a the time.

Blaming the higher costs of Obamacare, Mario’s union has also cut his hours to 30 per week.

How’s a Mario gonna live?  I no a like.  I can a no live a on 30 hours per a week. Mario fall a behind on rent a money.  Mario want a union out! Mario call a godfather and he a do a favor for a me. 

Mario has also had to change his doctor.

Mario all a stopped a up a.  Mario no a defecate a in a three a days.  Mario go a to doctor but a doctor no a see a me!  He a tell a me that a my a plan a no good a anymore.  I blame a the black a man!

Mario’s union responded to the decertification challenge with the following statement:

The International Brotherhood of Sewer Dwelling Plumbers has a long and proud tradition of supporting the rights of workers and progressive causes. Chief among these is the right to affordable healthcare.  All people deserve healthcare not just the rich.  President Obama and his signature Affordable Healthcare Act has paved the way to everyone finally being able to afford to see a doctor.  We are saddened by Mario’s desire to decertify us.  Mario has been a proud member of our union for over 30 years and we hope he changes his mind.  That being said, the International Brotherhood of Sewer Dwelling Plumbers will continue to support the President as he fights the Republicans and their war against women and the working class.

If Mario is successful in ousting his union he is seeking to start a new one that will repeal Obamacare.

“I just a want a my a premiums to go a down.  And I no a want to vote a for the black a man a no more.”


2 Responses

  1. innominatus says:

    Another convert to conservatism! Wooo!

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