Browsing the blog archives for July, 2014
Part III of the Annotated Declaration of Independence is now submitted for your approval. Not that I care about anyone’s approval. If I did I might wear pants in public more often. He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose […]
I now continue my progressive improvement of the Declaration of Independence (that hate-filled document of white patriarchy and heteronormatism.) But when a long train [1] of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, [2] it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off […]
Like most Americans I celebrated the Fourth of July by asking the government for more free stuff. But between having my hand out and bemoaning my white privilege it did get me to thinking about Thomas Jefferson’s Declaration of Independence. The document is over 100 years old and hasn’t aged well. It suffers from white […]
Occasionally here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ I like to hand the pages of this blog over to guest commentators. I do this for two reasons: As a member of the MSM I pride myself on carrying the Democratic party’s bath water bringing varying viewpoints to my readers. The drunk tank at the […]
Seeking to beat congressional Republicans at their own game, the Obama administration announced today the popular breakfast cereal Lucky Charms has been declared a “controlled substance” and that their mascot Lucky the Leprechaun, will be deported back to Ireland. “Republicans are always saying ‘secure the border’ “ said the President at a campaign rally. That’s […]
With the New York City marathon five months away, organizers vow to carry on as normal despite the recent zombie apocalypse. “A lot of our runners have expressed concerns” said Road Runner president Mary Wittenberg. With the rise of the zombies there have been certain unfortunate incidents, such as when the winner of the Chicago […]
Astromech droid R2-D2 has been upgraded. Owners Bob and Shirley Davidson of Eureka, California hope that the new features will make him a more valuable “thermocapsulary dehousing assister.” “We bought him at a garage sale” said Mr. Davidson. I thought maybe we could use him a a paperweight or a floor polisher. I even tried […]
In the weeks since the Washington Redskins were denied a trademark for their name many commentators have spoken for and against the ruling. Here at the worldwide headquarters of Manhattan Infidel we applaud the ruling. I have many native American friends (respectable peaceful ones, not the ones that go on the warpath and scalp the […]
Fresh off the success of it’s “Gay Whopper” promotion in San Francisco, Burger King has announced that it will be expanding its line of gay-themed food. “This is truly a historic day in the history of food” announced Daniel S. Schwartz, CEO of Burger King. As our test promotion in San Francisco has proved, people […]
“He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.” That one line from the Declaration of Independence has more meaning today than ever. The fourth branch of our government, the bureaucratic, now is the most powerful. The EPA continues its […]