The Progressive Annotated Declaration of Independence (Part III)

The Declaration of Independence suffers from White Privilege

The Declaration of Independence suffers from White Privilege

Part III of the Annotated Declaration of Independence is now submitted for your approval.  Not that I care about anyone’s approval.  If I did I might wear pants in public more often.

  • He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.  [1]
  • He has dissolved Representative Houses [2] repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness [3] his invasions on the rights of the people. [4]
  • He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected [5]; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without [6], and convulsions within. [7]
  • He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners [8]; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands. [9]
  • He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers. [10]
  • He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone [11], for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries. [12]
  • He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance. [13]


  1. And what’s wrong with this?  When conservatives block the will of a leader, a real leader will take emergency measures to enact the sensus fidei of the people.  Thank god a manly leader like Barack Obama is doing that now.  
  2. A representative house is only representative if it represents the rights of the educated elite.
  3. This line makes me blush like a school girl. Oh god I love our President and his manly firmness.  He is the model of all manhood. He makes me feel funny all over and not in a bad way like that time Vice President Biden blasted me with shotgun pellets.
  4. The rights of the people are limited in nature.  Once they impose upon the environment and threaten climate change it’s the job of the EPA to fine citizens into submission.  It’s in the Constitution or something.
  5. See notes 1, 2, 3 and 4.  What is the purpose of rushing into an election if the President’s will is blocked again?
  6. Invasion from without is DEFINITELY not what is happening on our southern border. Nothing to see here. Move along.
  7. Once all guns are confiscated there will be no more convulsions within.
  8. Excepting Hispanics who, being weak and helpless by nature, can be safely guaranteed to vote Democratic.
  9. The public cannot be trusted to preserve our natural resources.  They might build houses and ponds on them.  That is why the state must eventually own 100 percent of all property.
  10. The administration of justice is too important to be left in the hands of judges.  The President claims all rights in this field.
  11. As it should be.
  12. At a certain point you have to ask yourself if you’ve made enough money.
  13. Many conservatives object to the power of the bureaucratic branch of our government. How stupid can conservatives be?  We need to collect taxes and punish conservative dissent.  The IRS does this.  We need to preserve our natural resources and punish conservative dissent.  The EPA does this.  We need our borders (excepting the southern border and the weak and helpless Hispanics) secure and punish conservative dissent. The NSA does this.  Really conservatives get over yourselves.

(End of Part III)


6 Responses

  1. What do we call a Banana Republic that has no bananas?

  2. petermc3 says:

    Confiscate all conservative firearms and send their owners to Honduras, Guatemala and El Salvador in order to repopulate and make babies now that the chillins are all in El Norte.

  3. petermc3 says:

    Doan ju meeen Los Estados Unidos?

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