So You Want to be President? A Guest Editorial by His Eminence Barack Obama, Established by the Will of a Socialist God Ruler of These United States

Being President is nice if only  people would obey me more.

Being President is nice if only people would obey me more.

Occasionally here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™  I like to hand the pages of this blog over to guest commentators.  I do this for two reasons:

  1. As a member of the MSM I pride myself on carrying the Democratic party’s bath water bringing varying viewpoints to my readers.
  2. The drunk tank at the county lockup doesn’t have WiFi.

And so with that in mind I now present Ruler by Divine Right, his Eminence Barack Hussein Obama, Supreme Potentate of the United States.

Thank you Manhattan Infidel.  You may kiss my ring now.

People often ask me, “Barry, do you enjoy being President of the United States?”  I won’t deny it has its moments. The perks are incredible.  Free room and board, free medical (fortunately I am exempt from the Affordable Care Act) and the opportunity to travel.  Why just yesterday I said to the Secret Service – those are my private security guards – “Hey, I want to get out of the White House and go to a Starbucks and talk to the people.”  So you know what they did?  They closed down traffic for ten blocks in either direction and diverted pedestrians.That way I could walk in peace and contemplate big things and not be bothered by any people before I got my latte and talked to the people.

Let me give you another example.  The other day I wanted to go see Spike Lee.  I was flown to New York in Air Force One.  I didn’t have to worry about getting a window seat since I was the only one on the plane.  Oh I forgot. Michelle was on the plane too but we don’t sit next to each other.  She tries to avoid me.  Perhaps she just can’t keep up with my intellect.  Anyway, what was I saying?  Oh yes.  Air Force One.  I didn’t even have to worry about paying more for my luggage. They even shut down traffic during rush hour just for me.  A lot of New Yorkers got angry and yelled obscenities. I let it roll off my back.  And I had them audited.

I was in Italy recently and I had the locals round up some interesting Italians.  We had a dinner that went on for hours as we talked and talked and talked.  It’s interesting being the President.  I’m an interesting, deep thinking man. And if an interesting deep thinking man can’t meet interesting deep thinking people then I don’t know what things are coming to.  In my business you meet so many interesting people.  But the most interesting ones are the interesting Italians.

I  like contemplating big things.  Being President sometimes gets in the way of this.

John Boehner is not interesting.  Politicians are not interesting people. One night I’m talking about life and art, big interesting things, and then I’m thrown back into the minuscule things of politics.  Politics?  What do I care about politics?  I find politics undignified and beneath me.

But back to the question.  Do I enjoy my job?  Except for the many perks the answer is no. I’m tired  It takes a lot of energy trying to impose my vision on America.  All I get is opposition from Republicans.  I mean, I’m a constitutional scholar.  I taught constitutional law.  I know how the system is supposed to work.  The ruler, in our country called the President, who happens to me, issues executive orders and the country obeys.

But no one obeys me! I’m used to Michelle and the kids not obeying me but that’s different.

I tell you I can’t wait leave this job.  If I had more time to read books and talk to interesting people I might run for a third term.  But not now.  

So back to the original point.  Would I recommend this job to anyone else? Not if they have an intellect. I suppose a politician might enjoy it.  But not me.  I’ll miss the perks though.

Manhattan Infidel I want to thank you again for giving me the opportunity to address your readers.

Presenting differing viewpoints is part of my job.  I just wish the drunk tank had a private bathroom.  I can’t urinate in front of strangers.


3 Responses

  1. You are amazing, Infidel. How did you do it? That is the firstt time Asshat Barry has ever said an honest word. He says he can’t wait to leave office. Uh…. what the hell are we going to write about then?

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    We’ll always have Barry.

    Hey Jim do the drunk tanks in Venezuela come with wifi and private bathrooms?

  3. petermc3 says:

    Can’t we all just git along. Oops, wrong King.

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