Bassist Gets Groupie!

The bass guitar is a chick magnet!

The bass guitar is a chick magnet!

Mark A., bassist for the Bay City Rollers cover band “If It’s Not Scottish It’s Crap” has announced on his twitter feed that he has obtained a groupie.

“It’s true.  I couldn’t be happier. Me with a groupie!” said the tweet, published at 8:27 pm local time.

Mark A. then went on to describe how they met in further detail on his blog.

We were doing a show at a county fair, opening for Air Supply actually, when I saw this women looking at me.  This is unusual because usually the girls look at the guitarist or the singer. This made me very, very paranoid. But after the show when I was packing up the equipment (usually the roadies do this but they were busy getting autographs from Air Supply) she introduced herself and said she would follow me around anywhere.

The two have been inseparable since, even being spotted doing laundry together at a 24-hour laundromat on a Saturday night.

Mark’s friends couldn’t be happier for him.

“He sometimes gets a chip on his shoulder” said an acquaintance.

He would always say “What’s the singer have that I don’t?  Besides four women every night and enough cocaine to keep Charlie Sheen alive?”  He felt that bassists didn’t get the respect that they deserved. So I’m happy for him.  At least now I won’t have to dread his Saturday night phone calls.  “My cat just did the cutest thing!”  I couldn’t give a damn about his goddamn cat.

Others are concerned that Mark isn’t ready for a groupie.

“With groupies comes great responsibility” said a fellow musician.

Everyone thinks it’s all shits and giggles with groupies but it’s not.  Sometimes it takes hard work.  Like when you find out your groupie is underage, she’s passed out from an overdose in the bathroom and the police are knocking on your door.  I actually had to pay a fine for that.  Bloody wankers.

Still Mark seems more than happy with his new groupie.

Bassists don’t live the life of glamour like other rock musicians.  She’s great because she understands this. Like the other day when she suggested we watch 50 Shades of Grey and I told her I had to clean the grout in the bathroom.  She didn’t object. She just said “I understand.” I think I might be in love.

Mark A. plans to spend every available moment with his new groupie.

It’s a status symbol, having a groupie.  When she is hanging on my arm I’m saying that I belong.  I am a musician.  If I had a bus I’d even give her a seat on the bus. But I don’t.  I have a Ford Windstar.  But she rides shotgun.

Despite the fact that groupies are often viewed as disposable in the rock and roll world, Mark insists his new groupie will be with him forever.

“Until the band plays Poughkeepsie that is.  Poughkeepsie is a city of sin and if I find someone younger who will clean bathroom grout with me, so be it.” 


4 Responses

  1. petermc3 says:

    Hey Infidel, me thinks ur a bit confused laddie. A groupie is a fish that swallow prey whole rather than biting pieces off it.Groupies are not built for long-distance, fast swimming. Does that sound like something Mark A would clean tile grout with? On second thought he is a Scottish rocker from the seventies…

  2. So, you’re supposed to clean that greenish black stuff between the bathromm tiles? That sounds racist to me.

    • jenny says:

      LOL!! At the very least you’d be denying it squatters rights. Don’t touch it. (Also, if you’re a privileged white male, don’t walk all over it. That’d look bad.)

  3. LSP says:

    Question: Is Rod Stewart “King of Lad”?
    Answer: Yes, but only with “Brit” Ekland.

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