Browsing the blog archives for August, 2013

Your Guide to the Upcoming Syrian Humanitarian Conflict™

With the war with Syria potentially days or even hours away we here at the worldwide headquarters of Manhattan Infidel have decided to publish this handy guide explaining the upcoming humanitarian conflict.™ Why are we going to war? The Syrian President, Bashar al-Assad, has been using chemical weapons against his people I’ve heard about that. […]


Alec Baldwin Attacks Photographer Because He’s Distressed Over the Upcoming War with Syria and Man’s Inhumanity to Man but Mainly Because He’s an Asshole

Noted thespian Alec Baldwin engaged in a physical altercation with a photographer who took photos of him and his wife as they were strolling through Greenwich Village. The noted thespian, lover of peace and anti-war activist grabbed the offending photographer and pinned him against the hood of a car. Witnesses say that Baldwin “went beserk”  […]

Press Fairly Certain Bo is Racist

With the war with Syria imminent it would seem that President Obama does not need any  more problems.  Yet it seems that our first African-American president has trouble brewing on the home front:  First pet Bo is racist. “It’s true” said Jack Tapper of the White House Press Corps. I once saw him growl at […]

Upcoming War with Syria to be Feather in Cap for Nobel Peace Prize Winner

Since Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize many have wondered how he could top it. “We were worried that he would become Orson Welles” said a White House reporter. What did Welles do after Citizen Kane? Absolutely nothing.  Well, except for sleeping with Rita Hayworth.  Rita’s dead so President Obama can’t sleep with her.  […]


Ben Affleck Chosen to Play Batman; Scientists, Theologians in Quandary as to Meaning

Like most people I remember the exact moment I first heard that Ben Affleck had been chosen to play Batman.  I was discussing 19th century Russian literature negotiating a price with a female professional acquaintance prostitute.  As the police cornered the alley and started beating me discussing 19th Century Russian literature I heard one profess […]

La Forge Joins eHarmony

Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge, chief engineer of the Starship Enterprise, has informed his friends that he has joined the dating service eHarmony. “Space is a very lonely place” La Forge said in an email to his colleagues. I crave human companionship.  I crave it.  A lot.  I mean, you can only stay up all […]

Yankees Continue Domination of Toronto; Ichiro Hits No. 4000

“Baseball is like church.  Many attend.  Few understand.” ~ Leo Durocher. The Yankees tonight continued to use the Toronto “Useless, eh” Blue Jays as their personal bitch. The Yankees started Adam “Who?” Warren (1-2 3.57) and the Bitch Jays started last year’s Cy Young award winner R.A. Dickey (9-12 4.49). Toronto scored (or should I […]


From the Manhattan Infidel Future Archives: 2026, Green Religion Celebrates “Paint Lincoln Memorial Green Day”

“This is truly a historic day for the Green movement” declared a duly-authorized minister for the Green religion. Members of our movement have been splashing green paint on the Lincoln Memorial for 13 years.  Always this has been done in the middle of the night for fear of the patriarchy.  But now we can do […]

Rodeo Clown Guilty of Lèse-majesté!

A rodeo clown at the Missouri State Fair shocked the civilized world when he donned a mask of the ruler of America, Barack Obama. Like most Americans, we here at the worldwide headquarters of Manhattan Infidel were shocked and distressed that in this day and age such blatant displays of racism and disrespect for our […]


Manhattan Infidel Presents Bo’s Itinerary

As I have mentioned before on this blog my mission statement is to ensure the proper functioning of this republic by exposing aristocratic privilege where I see it.  And to harass Olivia Wilde. But mostly to expose anti-republican privilege among our elite.  Though if Olivia Wilde were to call me now I’d have to say […]