Manhattan Infidel Presents Your Updated {Updated} {Updated} {Updated} {Updated} Kennedy Malfeasance Template™

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Shut up serf! I”m a Kennedy I am entitled!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ we have written Kennedy Malfeasance Templates before. And so we do again. God bless the rich, bloated, privileged, parasites on society Kennedy Clan. They are a Godsend for bloggers.

Max Kennedy, son of assassinated Senator Robert F. Kennedy and his daughter Caroline were arrested at the Kennedy Compound for:

  1. It was probably just a misunderstanding
  2. Leaving the scene of a fatal car crash
  3. Possession of drugs and/or drug paraphernalia
  4. They are the Kennedys.  Probably a combination of all three
  5. A loud party? You’re kidding? Well the loud party was probably just cover to get the dead bodies out of the house

Neighbors had asked the Kennedys to keep the noise down. Naturally the Kennedys responded by:

  1. Apologizing to their neighbors and immediately turning down the volume at the party
  2. Sleeping with a Nazi spy
  3.  Sleeping with Marilyn Monroe (Well she’s dead so let’s just say it was a life-sized cutout)
  4. Driving a car off a bridge, leaving a young woman to drown as she watched the air pocket slowly become smaller
  5.  Absolutely nothing. These are Kennedys. They do not have to do what serfs ask them to. Royalty has privileges

When police arrived at the compound they:

  1. Did their job and arrested the Kennedys
  2. Asked for autographs and apologized for interrupting the party
  3. Helped the Kennedys move any (recently) dead bodies to a neighbor’s property so they would get blamed
  4. Helped clean up vomit from any overdosing guests
  5. Drove a car off a bridge for the Kennedys, drowning a young woman in the process

The Kennedys were arrested, given tickets and released without bail. What will happen next?

  1. Justice will be served. They will pay a fine
  2. CNN will report that Donald Trump drove a car off a bridge, drowning a young woman
  3. Trump will be impeached
  4. The incident will be blamed on the incendiary rhetoric of the alt-right
  5. Michael Moore will go on an all cheeseburger food strike until the charges are dropped

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Breaking news Breaking news Breaking news Breaking news Breaking news 

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Conor Kennedy, who briefly dated Taylor Swift was arrested after getting into a brawl outside an Aspen nightclub last December.

What the hell man? How did I miss this? My Kennedy Malfeasance Template skills are apparently not as good as I thought.

For those who care here is the source material on America’s royal family:

http://nypost.com/2017/08/22/two-kennedys-arrested-after-wild-party-in-cape-cod/

http://nypost.com/2016/12/29/kennedy-kid-who-dated-taylor-swift-busted-after-aspen-brawl/

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2 Responses

  1. LSP says:

    Hunh. Taylor Swift. What. A. NAZI.

    TEAR DOWN ALL STATUES

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