readers reader of Manhattan Infidel will know that I recently interviewed Alyssa Milano. Well our favorite actress is back. This time she wants to discuss her new website where she hopes to hold President Trump accountable for his collusion with Russia.
MI: Good afternoon Miss Milano.
AM: Excuse me, did you just assume my gender?
MI: Um, yes.
AM: Why did you assume I am a woman?
MI: Your rack gave it away.
AM: My breasts do not define me.
MI: Actually I googled “Alyssa Milano” and “breasts” and guess what? They do define you.
AM: We live in a deeply misogynistic, patriarchal society. That’s why I have to use my breasts to get my message out.
MI: And that message is?
AM: Donald Trump colluded with Russia.
MI: What evidence do you have of this?
AM: None. But I find that if I show men my breasts they believe what I’m saying. It’s a price I’m willing to pay to get the message out about Donald Trump and his collusion with Russia. Look at my breasts and believe what I am saying is the truth.
MI: I want to believe.
AM: Are you as angry as I am that our reps aren’t holding the Trump Administration accountable for the collusion with Russia?
MI: I am now.
AM: And this concept of ‘collusion’ and Russia is a very obscure concept for people to really grasp, so I hope to use my breasts to raise awareness of Trump’s collusion. Do you mind if I take my blouse off?
MI: Of course not.
[She removes her blouse]
AM:Think of my breasts as the Constitution of the United States.
MI: I love the Constitution!
AM: Now think of Trump’s collusion with Russia damaging the Constitution.
MI: I will kill anyone who harms the Constitution!
AM: You’re getting the idea. Would you like to hold the Constitution in your hands?
MI: YES!!! YES!!!! Wow. I never realized the Constitution was so firm.
AM: Russian collusion makes the Constitution droop. And when the Constitution droops our freedoms are jeopardized.
MI: I hate Russian collusion!
AM: Would you like to take the Constitution into your mouth?
MI: I would! I would!
AM: There. Suck. Suck deeply at the teats of freedom.
MI: God bless the United States and our firm Constitution of freedom. And throw that Russian-colluding bastard Trump in jail!
AM: I like to refer to my breasts as the 9th and 10th amendments.
Now I finally understand Russian collusion. I’d like to thank Alyssa Milano’s breasts for pointing it out to me.