Browsing the blog archives for October, 2014
Stung by a fourth straight quarter of sluggish economic growth, Sauron of Mordor has launched an aggressive ad campaign hoping to attract tourists from Middle Earth. Spearheaded by the advertising firm of Donahue and Rivera, the new campaign entitled, “One Simply DOES Walk Into Mordor” is designed to highlight the natural beauty of the land. […]
A white lesbian couple from Ohio is suing a sperm bank for giving them wrong sperm. “I bought their catalog and I ordered no. 380 which would have given me and my partner a blonde-haired blue-eyed child” said the despondent Jennifer Cramblett. Instead after I had been inseminated I was told that a mistake had […]
Chapter Three To the Church of Climate Change in Philadelphia And to the angel of the Church at Philadelphia write: Thus says he who has the seven Priuses: I know thy works: Thou has the name of being alive but you are Philadelphia. Nuff said. W.C. Fields was right about you. 2. For I do […]
With the midterm elections weeks away I have decided to publish emails sent from that super creepy stalker: The Democratic Party. The emails from the DNC started innocently enough. Hi Manhattan Infidel. I just thought I’d send you this email. I hope your day’s going well. Hopefully you have air conditioning so you’re not too […]
Award Shows. Who doesn’t love them? The glamour. The celebrities. The red carpet. The acceptance speeches. We here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ have searched the world for busty Asian women things that might be of interest to my readers. Perhaps my readers were unaware that in ISIS controlled territory not only do […]
Church and Dwight Company, manufacturer of Trojan Condoms, which account for 70.5 percent of all condom purchases in the United States, has announced an unprecedented and exclusive endorsement deal with former Beatles drummer Pete Best. “This is certainly a historic occasion” said an executive from Church and Dwight at a press conference announcing the deal. […]
Today at Manhattan Infidel it is my distinct pleasure to welcome one of the greatest scientific minds of our time, host of PBS’s “Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey” Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson. MI: Welcome Dr. Tyson. I’m a big fan. NDGT: Naturally. That’s to be expected. MI: Um. What? NDGT: Well naturally I would expect a person such as yourself […]
As his presidency winds down and looking to the future, President Obama signed a long-term endorsement deal with clothing and accessories retailer Banana Republic. Glenn K. Murphy, Chairman of the Board of The Gap, owners of Banana Republic, announced the deal at a press conference today. “When one thinks of a Banana Republic one thinks of […]
Chapter Two 1. To the angel of Climate Change of the church at New York write: Thus says he who holds the keys to the seven Priuses in his right hand, who walks in the midst of the Priuses even though he himself prefers SUVs: 2. I know you have a socialist mayor and that thou […]
With the Ebola outbreak in the news we here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ are taking a moment out of our busy schedule to give our readers the latest information from the Centers for Disease Control on how to protect yourself. Q: What is the Ebola virus? A: The Ebola virus (or Ebola Hemorrhagic Fever) […]