Browsing the blog archives for October, 2014
Famed extra-terrestrial Marvin the Martian was ordered by a judge today to attend 200 hours of anger management counseling sessions after he once again threatened to destroy the Earth. “Mr. Martian” said the judge at the sentencing. I have listened to the testimony. I have heard eyewitnesses describe how you planned to destroy the Earth […]
In another damaging blow to the Secret Service it was announced that bullet holes were found in the windows of the White House and that on another occasion an intruder had jumped the White House fence and gotten farther inside the Executive Mansion than previously reported. After Secret Service Director Julia Pierson was grilled on Capitol Hill […]
Reacting to recent developments with NFL players and domestic violence, commissioner Roger Goodell implemented “Operation Sensitive” which took effect immediately. “The NFL has heard the outrage of its critics” declared Goodell. The NFL is a brand. A brand that has entertained Americans with their game for decades. But that is not enough anymore. There is […]