Browsing the blog archives for April, 2014

The Gospel of Barack Obama According to Chris Matthews (Part XIII)

Barack, knowing that his hour had come, that he should pass out from too much wine; having loved his own and hated and wanted to punish his enemies just like he told the Hispanics to do, he loved his friends unto the end and made sure they got government grants to open wind tunnel farms. […]

The Official Al Sharpton Wire Transcripts

Manhattan Infidel was formed for one reason: To make it easier to pick up women Relax everyone’s doing it Jiggers it’s the cops run! To expose the truth! With the news that noted race hustler civil rights leader Al Sharpton wore a wire for the FBI in the early 1980s the worldwide headquarters of Manhattan […]

Help NBC Create Its Next Sitcom Smash!

Good news for all struggling writers, would-be writers, those curious about writing, those curious about writing but don’t want anyone to find out, those who wrote once but stopped because of shame and those who secretly write every Friday night in the bushes in Central Park. NBC needs help!  No, not meds for their executives. […]

Ban Assault Knives!

Once again an American high school was locked down. Once again the scourge of violence struck the heartland.  Once again cable news rushed to cover a local crime story in hopes of instructing America and getting better ratings. Alex Hribal, a 16-year old student at Franklin Regional High School in Murrysville, Pennsylvania was arrested for […]

The Gospel of Barack Obama According to Chris Matthews (Part XII)

Barack therefore, came to Georgetown, where Lazarus had been dead, whom Barack raised and taxed to life.  And they made him gluten-free supper there:  And Martha served:  But Lazarus was one of them that were at table with him. Mary therefore took a pound of ointment, of great price after the sales tax, and anointed […]

My Exclusive and Empowering Interview with Belle Knox

For the past couple weeks much discussion has centered around Belle Knox, the Duke university freshman who started doing porn to pay for tuition.  I was lucky enough to have an exclusive sit-down with the fascinating and empowered young woman. MI: Good afternoon Miss Knox. BN: Hey, what’s up dude. MI: Let’s get straight to business. BN: Ooh, I […]

The Bossy Horoscope

Last night as I was reading the good book and sipping tea being thrown out of a bar for showing pictures of my penis to women it occurred to me that it has been awhile since I’ve done a horoscope here at Manhattan Infidel.  It also occurred to me that women who do not want […]

Spam! (The Comprehensive Immigration Reform Edition)

It is once again that time.  The time everyone looks forward to.  No it’s not free methadone day here at Manhattan Infidel.  It’s the latest edition of A Visit to the Spam Factory! For those of you who were expecting free methadone I apologize.  Write your congressman and ask the Republicans to bring back free […]

Was James Franco’s Attempt to Lure an Underage Girl to a Hotel Room Caused by Global Warming?

Scandal rocked the tight-knit show biz community as it was alleged that award-winning actor James Franco tried to lure an underage girl to a hotel room for a tryst. When the news broke the worldwide headquarters of Manhattan Infidel sprang into action.  Dammit I used my safe word!  Stop! First off one must applaud the […]

The Gospel of Barack Obama According to Chris Matthews (Part XI)

Now there was a certain man sick, named Lazarus, of Georgetown, of the town of Mary and Martha her sister. His sisters therefore sent to him, saying:  Lord Barack, behold he whom thou lovest in a same sex way is sick. And Barack hearing it, said to them:  This sickness is not unto death, but […]