After this, Barack showed himself again to his disciples in the MSM at Martha’s Vineyard. And he shewed himself after this manner. There were together Joe Biden, and Bob Schieffer and two others of his disciples. Joe Biden saith to them:  I go a fishing, as soon as I put on my protective helmet so I […]

And on the first day of the week, Nancy Pelosi cometh early, when it was dark, unto the banks of the Potomac River, and she was not able to find Barack’s ashes.  She ran, therefore, and cometh to Joe Biden, and to the other disciple whom Barack loved, and saith to them:  They have taken […]

When Barack had said these things, he went forth with his disciples in the MSM to an expensive restaurant in Georgetown, where there was a garden. And Valerie Jarrett also, who betrayed him, knew the place; because Barack often resorted thither together with his disciples in the MSM. Valerie therefore having received a band of […]

These things Barack spoke, and lifting up his eyes to heaven, he said:  Father, the hour is come, glorify thy son whom you met only once or twice, that thy son who has daddy issues may glorify thee. As thou has given him power over all flesh since I am President and know no restrictions […]

These things I have spoken to you, that you may not be scandalized.  But really, what are the chances of a scandal happening with my disciples in the MSM to protect me. Yea, the hour cometh, that whosoever killeth you, will probably be a right-wing gun owner.  The nuts! And these things will they do […]

I am the true vine approved by the Federal Government.  Every branch in me that beareth not fruit, will be audited, and every one that beareth fruit, will be purged, that it may bring forth more fruit. Now you are clean, because you are my friends.  As crony capitalism cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it […]

Let not your heart be troubled.  You believe in socialism.   Believe also in me.  In my father’s house there are many mansions.  Or so I’ve been told.  Like I said I only met him once or twice. And if I shall go, and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and redistribute […]

Barack, knowing that his hour had come, that he should pass out from too much wine; having loved his own and hated and wanted to punish his enemies just like he told the Hispanics to do, he loved his friends unto the end and made sure they got government grants to open wind tunnel farms. […]

Barack therefore, came to Georgetown, where Lazarus had been dead, whom Barack raised and taxed to life.  And they made him gluten-free supper there:  And Martha served:  But Lazarus was one of them that were at table with him. Mary therefore took a pound of ointment, of great price after the sales tax, and anointed […]

Now there was a certain man sick, named Lazarus, of Georgetown, of the town of Mary and Martha her sister. His sisters therefore sent to him, saying:  Lord Barack, behold he whom thou lovest in a same sex way is sick. And Barack hearing it, said to them:  This sickness is not unto death, but […]