The Gospel of Barack Obama According to Chris Matthews (Part XVII)

And Barack shineth in the darkness

And Barack shineth in the darkness

These things Barack spoke, and lifting up his eyes to heaven, he said:  Father, the hour is come, glorify thy son whom you met only once or twice, that thy son who has daddy issues may glorify thee.

As thou has given him power over all flesh since I am President and know no restrictions on my power, that he may give eternal redistribution to all whom vote Democratic.

Now this is eternal redistribution:  That they may know thee, my only true father, better than I knew thee since I only met you once or twice.

And now glorify thou me, absentee father, with the glory which I had, before I became President, even though the time before I became President is not important.

I have manifested the name of socialism to the men thou has given me.

Now they have known, that all things thou has given me, have been redistributed from others.

Because the possessions which thou gavest me, I have redistributed them; and they have received them, and promised to vote Democratic.

I pray for them: I pray not for the world, but for them whom thou has given redistributed gifts.

And all gifts of the Federal government are mine, and I am glorified in them.

While I was with them, I kept them voting Democratic by promising free redistributed goods; and none of them is lost, but the son of perdition who votes Republican.

These things I speak in the world, that they may have my joy when they receive free stuff.

I have given them socialism, and the world hath hated them, because they are not of socialism but are of capitalism.

I pray not that thou shouldn’t take them out of the world, for how would they then vote Democratic?  But thou should keep them from Republicanism.

Sanctify them in socialism.  Socialism is truth.

And not for them only do I pray, but for them also who through redistribution shall believe in me.

And the glory of socialism which thou has given me, I have given to them.

Just father, whom I met only once or twice, the world hath not known redistribution.

And I have made known redistribution to them, and will make it known by auditing all my political opponents if need be; that the redistribution wherewith thou has redistributed, may be in them, and I in them.

Or I’ll audit them.

(To be continued)


One Response

  1. petermc3 says:

    And Barack and his entourage were exempted from paying the toll as they crossed the Tappan Zee Bridge on their way to KFC where their number one side has been renamed: Mooched potatoes with a free biscuit.

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