The Gospel of Barack Obama According to Chris Matthews (Part XIV)

And Barack shineth in the darkness

And Barack shineth in the darkness

Let not your heart be troubled.  You believe in socialism.   Believe also in me.  In my father’s house there are many mansions.  Or so I’ve been told.  Like I said I only met him once or twice.

And if I shall go, and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and redistribute mansion availability, and will take you to myself, that where I am, you also may be.  Assuming the Secret Service gives you security clearance that is.

Joe Biden saith to him:  Lord Barack, we know not whither thou goest; and how can we know the way.  I get lost backing out of my driveway for I am Joe Biden.

Barack saith to him:  I am the way of redistribution, and the truth of redistribution, and the life of redistribution. No man cometh to socialism but by me.

Biden saith again to him:  Lord Barack, shew us redistribution, and it is enough for us.

Barack saith to him:  Have I been so long a time with you and have you not known me?  Well, you are Joe Biden.

Do you not believe that I am in redistribution and that redistribution is in me?  The words that I speak to you, I speak not of myself.  But the socialism abideth in me, it doth the works.

Otherwise believe for the very works’ sake.  Amen, amen I say to you, he that believeth in me, the redistribution that I do, he also shall do; and greater than these.  He might even confiscate guns.

If you ask me anything in my name, assuming you vote Democratic, that I will do.

If you love me, keep the commandments of redistribution.

And I will ask socialism, that he may abide with you forever.

The spirit of redistribution, whom the world cannot receive, because it is selfish and believes in capitalism.

I will not leave you orphans, like my father left me.

He that hath my commandments of redistribution, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me. And not like Michelle.  It’ll be a pure love we can all be proud of.

Barack said again:  If any one love me, he will spy on conservatives for the IRS, and redistribution will love him, and we will come to him, and make our abode with him.  Just don’t tell Michelle where I am.

These things I have spoken to you, abiding with you.  But the spirit of redistribution, he will give you other things, taken from those who make more than $200,000 per year.

Redistribution I leave with you, my redistribution I give unto you:  not as the world giveth from those who make more than $200,000, do I give unto you.

Let not you heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid.  Unless you get a phone call from Michelle asking if you know where I am.

If you loved me, you would indeed be glad, because I go to redistribute: for redistribution is greater than I.

And now I have told you before it come to pass:  that when it shall come to pass, you may believe. Or in Biden’s case, at least remember.

I will not now speak many things with you.  For the Koch brothers cometh, and in me they hath not any thing.

But that the world may know that I love redistribution, and as redistribution hath given me commandment, so do I.

Arise, let us go hence.

(To be continued)


One Response

  1. I think it’s time to send Lord Barack to Syria to walk among the many truth seekers there.

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