My Exclusive and Empowering Interview with Belle Knox

Choke me until I pass out with empowerment!

Choke me until I pass out with empowerment!

For the past couple weeks much discussion has centered around Belle Knox, the Duke university freshman who started doing porn to pay for tuition.  I was lucky enough to have an exclusive sit-down with the fascinating and empowered young woman.

MI: Good afternoon Miss Knox.

BN: Hey, what’s up dude.

MI: Let’s get straight to business.

BN: Ooh, I like your take-charge attitude.  It empowers me.

MI: Um. Okay.  Now why did you start doing porn?

BN: Well as you know I am a freshman attending Duke university and tuition at Duke costs 45 thousand a year.  That’s quite expensive.

MI: Wow.  Forty five thousand? That’s much more expensive than my tuition when I went to a state university in New York.

BN: I had to find a way to pay my tuition.  A way that would be satisfying and empowering.  So it was either drive a truck or do porn.  And tractor trailers are patriarchal.

MI: But why – 

BN: So you see I had absolutely no choice.  I had to do porn.

MI: Well you didn’t have to attend Duke.  You could have gone to a much cheaper college.

BN: Out of the question.  I specifically went to Duke because of my major.

MI: Which is?

BN: Lesbian imagery in the Old Testament.

MI: FittingWith a major like that the only job you would have gotten when you graduated was in porn.

BN: How ironic.  How empoweringly ironic.

MI: So why not must skip college?

BN: Are you kidding?  Do you know how horny sorority girls are?  I’m getting more pussy than the WNBA.

MI: Let’s talk about your future.  Do you want your children to know you did porn?

BN: I’m not going to have children.

MI: Why don’t you like children.

BN: Oh I love children.   And I’d like to be a mother one day.  It’s just that the syphilis I contracted doing porn has made me infertile.

MI: I see. Tough break.

BN: My privates are riddled with infectious sores. It kind of smells and looks like take out Chinese left in the fridge for six months.  I had maggots crawl out of my privates last week. Fortunately the director left it in the shot. He said it was edgy.

MI:  Um.  One last thing before I go.  You specialize in a genre of porn known as choking porn. May I choke you?

BN: What?  No. You’re not my type and your old and gross.

MI: What if I film it?

BN: Oh that’s totally different.  Choke away!

[Manhattan Infidel proceeds to choke Belle Knox]

BN: Oh god I’m choking.  I’m…..gag…..I’m choking.  I’m choking in an empowered fashion!  Empower me!  Empower me harder!

And so I proceeded to choke Miss Knox until she passed out from empowerment.

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5 Responses

  1. I hope you washed your hands with nitric acid when you were done!

  2. Matt says:

    This is by far the most empowering post I have ever read.

  3. Petermc3 says:

    I watched 40 episodes of Pawn stars but she never appeared . wad up wit dat?

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