Browsing the blog archives for September, 2013

Deal Reached to Avert War in Syria or Something

United States Secretary of State Herman Munster John Kerry and Russian Foreign Minister Sergey V. Lavrov have announced a historic agreement that will avoid a U.S. airstrike against Syria. Speaking at a joint press conference Mr. Munster Kerry said that This agreement, if fully implemented, will avert U.S airstrikes and provide a framework for peace […]


Santa Dies in Tragic Sleigh Crash

Santa Claus was killed today while testing his new Learjet sleigh. Santa took off from Orlando, Florida shortly before 9 am on a flight to Dallas, Texas.  On board with Santa were his agent and the two pilots. The last contact with Santa’s flight was at 9:27 am when the sleigh was instructed to climb […]

President Obama Speaks to America About the War With Syria

With a potential war with Syria still looming, on Tuesday September 10th President Obama addressed the nation.  As a service to my readers I present the president’s speech, unexpurgated and unaltered, just as it was delivered. My fellow Americans, tonight I want to talk to you about Syria — why it matters, and where we […]

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9/11 Twelve Years Later: The Hooray for Hollywood Edition

It has now been 12 years since the man-caused disaster that afflicted the capital of capitalism in the United States. When the towers came down many in America looked to Hollywood to once again rally around the President and the country as they did during World War II. What follows are some of the examples […]

RFK Jr. Sex Diary Released to Public

Noted leech, unemployed man, former heroin addict  environmental activist Robert Kennedy Jr., son of the slain senator has had his “sex diary” released to the public. The 398 page bombshell diary contains a list of his conquests with the numbers 1 through 10 next to them.  One being copping a feel, eight being intercourse and […]

White Hispanic Gets Speeding Ticket!

History’s greatest monster, George Zimmerman, was stopped  in Orlando, Florida and cited for speeding. “Sorry” said the unrepentant monster speedster to the officer who pulled him over. As to why Zimmerman felt he could go 60 miles per hour in a 45 mile per hour zone there is speculation that he will use the so-called […]

Boredom, Misery, Joy, Exaltation, The Bitter Dregs of Joba: Just Another Yankee-Red Sox Game

“Buy me some peanuts and HGH/I don’t care if I stop producing testosterone” ~ old baseball sing-a-long. Fresh off a three-game sweep of the hapless White Sox, the Yankees started a four-game series against the American League East leading Boston Red Sox. The Yankees started the American League pitcher of the month for August, Ivan […]


My Exclusive Interview with a Zombie

Zombies are much in the news lately with many TV shows and movies being built around them.  With that in mind today at Manhattan Infidel I am honored to snag an interview with a member of the community of the undead. MI:Welcome to my humble blog. Z: Thank you.  It’s a pleasure to be here. […]

A Message From President Obama

Good afternoon, everybody.  Ten days ago the world watched in horror as men, women and children were massacred in Syria in the worst chemical attack the world has ever seen.  Well, except for the ones we did. This attack is an assault on human dignity. Like some of Michelle’s dresses. Now after careful deliberation I […]


Labor Day Weekend Yankee Double Feature

“Psst.  Hey kid.  Every done HGH?  Bet you want to, don’t you?” ~ Alex Rodriguez Sunday September 1st On a muggy Sunday in the Bronx the Yankee faced the Baltimore Orioles, hoping to sweep the series and gain yet more ground in the Wild Card. The Yankee started Andy Pettitte (10-9 4.01) and the former […]