Browsing the blog archives for October, 2013

From the Manhattan Infidel Future Archives: May 2019, Last Catholic Bishop in America Executed

In a great moment all true lovers of America and the state have waited for Cardinal Dolan of New York, the last Catholic bishop left in the United States was sent to the electric chair for treason. The end of Dolan, formerly a Cardinal in the treasonous, superstitious and anti-Democratic Catholic Church began in 2014 […]

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Humpty Dumpty Taken Down by Homeland Security

Famous anthropomorphic egg Humpty Dumpty is dead after a shootout with agents from Homeland Security. The incident began around noon local time when a homeowner discovered Humpty sitting on the wall that marked his property line. “I yelled at him” said the homeowner. “Hey punk, get the f*ck off my wall.  That’s my property.” He […]

Global Warming Killed President Kennedy

As a member of the mainstream media the worldwide headquarters of Manhattan Infidel take our responsibility to uncover the truth seriously. What don’t we take seriously?  Pants.  So constricting. On November 22, 1963 President Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas, Texas.  Lee Harvey Oswald was arrested and charged with the crime.  But from the beginning there […]

A Word From Bob Costas Regarding the Notre Dame Fighting Irish

With the momentum building to rename all sports teams whose nicknames might be deemed offensive I once again turn the pages of Manhattan Infidel over to legendary sportscaster Bob Costas.  Take it away Bob. Thank you Manhattan Infidel.  I am eternally grateful to you for giving me this opportunity to address your millions of readers. […]

Former Star Fleet Officers Have Difficulty Adjusting to Civilian Life

In a previous post I had detailed the problems that former Star Fleet Captain James T. Kirk had adapting to civilian life.  In today’s post I will document the myriad of difficulties the other officers of the Enterprise have encountered in their shift to life after Star Fleet. First up:  Science offer Spock. Having left […]

Manhattan Infidel Calls the Healthcare.Gov 800 Number

As everyone whose name isn’t Barack Obama knows, the rollout of the Affordable Care Act has been fraught with difficulties including a non-workable web site with over 500,000 million lines of code.  Fortunately for the millions hundreds of thousands tens of thousands, thousands who have tried to sign up via the web site an 800 […]

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Manhattan Infidel’s Guide to Enjoying the Decline and Fall of New York City

New York City has had a good run the past 20 years.  In fact it’s been a relative paradise to live in compared to big city shitholes such as Chicago and Los Angeles.  But all that is about to change. New York is poised to elect a former Sandinista,  Bill De Blasio, as our next […]

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Tim Tebow to Restart NFL Career by Murdering People

Former NFL quarterback Tim Tebow has a new plan to resuscitate his failing career: Murder! “Tim Tebow is a controversial figure” said New York Daily News sports columnist Mike Lupica. He believes in God.  He has never murdered anyone. Hell, he doesn’t even have a criminal record.  How can a man like this expect to […]

My Exclusive Interview With the Somers New York Chief of Police

Recently a homeowner living in the town of Somers in Westchester County, New York had a pro-second amendment sign taken from his property.  Security cameras reveal that it was actually a police officer who did this.  With this slap in the face of the first amendment in mind I traveled to Somers to discuss the […]

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James T. Kirk Fired From Job as Desktop Support Technician

James Tiberius Kirk, former captain in the United Federation of Planets has been fired from his civilian job as a desktop support technician. “It’s true” said his supervisor.  “The guy, well, let’s just say his skill set was minimal.” After leaving Star Fleet to avoid a court martial for sexual harassment Kirk found his way […]