White Hispanic Gets Speeding Ticket!

This is the cold-blooded face of speeding.

This is the cold-blooded face of speeding.

History’s greatest monster, George Zimmerman, was stopped  in Orlando, Florida and cited for speeding.

“Sorry” said the unrepentant monster speedster to the officer who pulled him over.

As to why Zimmerman felt he could go 60 miles per hour in a 45 mile per hour zone there is speculation that he will use the so-called “White privilege” defense.  Said a prominent sociologist:

White people, as the dominant oppressive race, naturally feel that law does not apply to them.  They feel they can break laws with no consequences.  It’s understandable that white people feel like this.  They are naturally cold-blooded.  That’s a medical fact. Look it up. And with Zimmerman’s white blood coursing through his veins I suspect he had a “white high.”  When one is in the throes of a white high one cares about nothing except oneself.  One does not think of the consequences of one’s actions. That’s what makes white people so dangerous.

Former New Mexico governor Bill Richardson, himself a white Hispanic, had this to say about Zimmerman’s speeding ticket:

As a victim of white Hispanicism I myself have often been conflicted.  When I get behind the wheel of a car my Hispanic side wants to respect the law and stay within the speed limit.  Why?  I want to stay under the radar of ‘The Man.”  But my white side keeps telling me to go faster.  Ignore the law.  My white blood is the law!  So I speed up.  Sometimes I run over full-blooded Hispanics.  Why?  Because I enjoy it.  Once I ran over a cat.  It bounced right off my windshield.  I don’t know if it was a Hispanic cat or not.  But if it was, well then it deserved to die.

Felix the cat (pictured here)

White Hispanics make me fear for my life

White Hispanics make me fear for my life

who himself has had many close calls with cars driven by white Hispanics has called upon Congress to pass a law against mixing of bloodlines.

White people should keep their blood to themselves.  We don’t need them corrupting other, purer blood.  Why do you think blood is red?  It’s blood of color!  I don’t know what color white people’s blood is.  If they have blood.  I don’t think they do.  No.  Definitely not.  White people do not have blood.  I think they bleed acid.  I saw it in a movie and that makes it a scientific fact.

Dora the Explorer, who is a full-blooded Hispanic, called for the strict observance of international speed limit standards.

“Can’t we all just obey the speed limit?”

As for Zimmerman, his lawyer is confident his client will not have any points added to his license.

I have asked my client to change his first name to a more appropriate one such as Carlos or Juan.  The name change combined with my client apologizing for slavery will go a long way towards rehabilitating his image.

There has been no public comment from Zimmerman but his soon to be ex wife is not surprised.

I told him that once he got the taste of killing it would only be a matter of time before he started speeding.

President Obama is expected to cut short his G20 summit to address the crisis.


4 Responses

  1. So, if Zimmerman and Richardson are White Hispanics, does that make Obama a White-Blacky or a Black-Whitey?

  2. Matt says:

    I’m really confused about this. Since the last year or so that white hispanics suddenly appeared on Earth, I’ve been confused as to where in the pantheon of power and aggreivement do the white hispanics fit?

  3. Q: How do you know that Asians move into your neighborhood?
    A: Hispanics start buying car insurances.

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