Browsing the blog archives for November, 2011

*** Breaking News *** Herman Cain Admits to 13-Year Affair with Himself

Republican Presidential candidate  Herman Cain, who had previously weathered allegations of sexual harassment, admitted today that he had engaged in an “improper relationship with himself” that lasted 13 years. Calling an impromptu press conference, Cain admitted to the affair: I took myself out to dinner.  I brought myself back to motel rooms.  I have often […]


My Exclusive Interview with Beethoven

This being “exclusive interview” week here at Manhattan Infidel I am excited to interview the one, the only, the inimitable Ludwig van Beethoven.  A crucial figure in the transition from the classical to the romantic eras in western music he remains one of the most famous and influential composers of all time.  Beethoven also composed […]

My Exclusive Interview with Albert Einstein

As part of my continuing series I am happy to present my interview with perhaps the most famous physicist ever:  Albert Einstein MI:  Dr. Einstein thank you for meeting with me. AE:  It’s my pleasure. MI:  One thing confuses me though.  You died in 1955.  How is it that I am interviewing you now? AE:  […]

Occupy Plymouth Rock!

December, 1620.  Plymouth Colony The protest movement known as “Occupy Plymouth Rock” that has the whole world watching entered its second week. “We’re here for the long run” said Occupation military leader Miles Standish. “This is what democracy looks like.” The occupiers, or “pilgrims” as they prefer to be known have landed at Plymouth Rock […]

Superman Turns Fortress of Solitude into B&B

The cold arctic has a new vacation spot.  Superman, famed superhero with mighty powers and rumored reporter for the Daily Planet, has turned his fortress of solitude into a bed and breakfast. “I am happy and excited about this” Superman told reporters. I don’t know much about running a business frankly.  Most of my experience […]

Diary of an Occupying Hippie

Day 1.  September 17, 2011. This is soooo cool!  I arrived in downtown Manhattan to find hundreds of other revolutionaries! Morale here is high.  Together we can change the world and defeat the capitalists.  I just wish the park had wifi.  I have this new Macbook that’s bitchin!  Thanks mom and dad for buying it […]

Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll: More Revelations at Captain Kirk’s Trial

The salacious trial of Captain James T. Kirk of Star Fleet enters its third week with more bombshell testimony depicting an out of control ship with an officer corp that was, to put it mildly, unfit for duty. “Everybody on board the ship was drunk all the time” said an enlisted man testifying at Kirk’s […]

Peace, Love and Hippies! It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Note:  This post was written before Mayor Michael useless fuck Bloomberg grew a pair and decided to steam clean Zuccotti park and drive out the filthy hippies. Many of my readers ask me, “Manhattan Infidel, why the eye shadow?”   They also ask me why I haven’t gone down to the park to take pictures […]

Lawsuit Divides Three Little Pigs

Once inseparable the three little pigs now won’t speak to each other, victims of income inequality. The three pigs upon reaching maturity were sent out into the world by their mother to “seek their fortune.” The first pig was not very successful. “I’ve never been very good at business” he admitted in the deposition.  “I’m […]

Welcome to Penn State!

Editor’s note:  The following excerpts are from the Penn State 2011-2012 student handbook. From the Desk of Rodney A. Erickson, President of Penn State. Hello students! Welcome to Penn State.  You have made the correct choice in coming to this college.  Among Penn State’s core values are integrity, commitment to excellence, athletic achievement and not […]