Browsing the blog archives for August, 2011

Tactics of American Army Call Morality of War into Question

Dateline December 27, 1776.  Ye Olde New York Times Ye Olde New York Times, while always opposing the war has reserved judgment as to the actions of the so-called American army and their commander, George Washington.  However after the dastardly sneak attack on sleeping Hessian soldiers in Trenton yesterday we can no longer withhold our […]

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Anti-War Rally Postponed Due to Lack of Giant Puppets

The anti-war rally “Take Back America from the Fascists” billed as “the largest anti-war rally in weeks” has been postponed.  Organizers cited problems getting necessary permits, trouble getting word out about the rally and, most importantly, no giant puppets.  Said an organizer: America is a fascist nation that wages illegal wars against peoples of color.  […]

Fed Reduces Interest Rates to -2 Percent

The Fed announced today that because of a continued bleak economic forecast for the immediate future that it is reducing interest rates to -2 percent, the lowest in history. “Drop by the Fed” said Chairman Ben Bernanke in a press release.  “Our interest rates are so low we are literally giving money away!” With unemployment […]

My Exclusive Interview With Hurricane Katrina

Here at the worldwide headquarters of Manhattan Infidel my windowless basement studio I pride myself on getting interviews with some of the most fascinating people my hallucinations in the world. Today is no exception. Since barreling into New Orleans six years ago Hurricane Katrina has avoided contact with the media. Until now. I am pleased […]

2011 New York Earthquake: Whom is to Blame?

On Tuesday August 23rd 2011, a date that which that which …..oh screw it. Which is correct?  That or which?  I’ve heard both people.  I’ve heard both!  It’s a date to live in infamy.  The City of New York was hit by a 5.9 earthquake on the Richter scale. Besides the untold millions in psychological […]

On Day of Earthquake Yanks Lose to Oakland

“Son, we’d like to keep you around this season but we’re trying to win a pennant” ~ Casey Stengel to a Yankee rookie On the evening following a 5.8 magnitude earthquake that shook New York City for 15 seconds the Yankees took on the Oakland “Kinda like San Francisco without the Grateful Dead” Athletics. The […]

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From the Manhattan Infidel Future Archives: August 16, 2012: Nato Bombs Gracie Mansion; Bloomberg's Grip on Power Ends

Michael Bloomberg’s grip on power appeared to evaporate overnight as NATO forces bombed Gracie Mansion, the residence of New York City mayors. In midtown jubilant rebels tore down posters of Bloomberg while chanting “Freedom!  Freedom, smokes and transfats!’ The Rebel Alliance issued a tweet that said, “We congratulate the people of New York for the […]

Speed Racer Runs Afoul of EPA

International racing superstar Speed Racer has been banned from further competition in the United States until he complies with new EPA requirements. The EPA released a statement today that said they have taken the unprecedented step of banning Speed Racer because his new “Mach 5” car  does not meet necessary green requirements such as 55 […]

Thomas the Tank Engine Collides With School Bus

In a scene of devastation that even hardened first responders found difficult, Thomas the Tank Engine collided this morning with a school bus loaded with children. “There were bodies everywhere.  Body parts.  Blood. Pulpy tissue.  I got sick and I’ve never gotten sick at an accident site before” said a first responder. Of the 29 […]

The Manhattan Infidel's Guide to the Coming Great Depression II

America has many great traditions:  baseball, apple pie, amusement parks, drive-in movies, dead hookers in your crawlspace and economic corrections. With the recent swings in the stock market, the downgrading of America’s credit rating and unemployment reaching double digits we here at the world wide headquarters of Manhattan Infidel would like to say to our […]