Anti-War Rally Postponed Due to Lack of Giant Puppets

Puppets for peace!The anti-war rally “Take Back America from the Fascists” billed as “the largest anti-war rally in weeks” has been postponed.  Organizers cited problems getting necessary permits, trouble getting word out about the rally and, most importantly, no giant puppets.  Said an organizer:

America is a fascist nation that wages illegal wars against peoples of color.  A nation of college kids is going to rise up and take back our country.   We have the people on our side.  We have morality on our side.  We have lovers of peace on our side.  Moral outrage is the key to the success of the anti-war movement.  Well, that and giant puppets.  We didn’t have the giant puppets.  And without giant puppets marching beside us we might look foolish.

Many in the anti-war movement, while regretting the cancellation of the march, agree that it was the best thing to do under the circumstances.

If you look at it historically, the anti-war movement and the giant puppet movement were born at the same time.  They go hand in hand.  To have an anti-war march without giant puppets, well, that’s just wrong.

Some place the blame for the lack of giant puppets squarely on the shoulders of George W. Bush.

Before Bush left office Cheney told him to purposely put this country in a great recession in hopes of adversely affecting giant puppet makers.  I hate him more than my Dad!

Even if giant puppets were in fact available for the rally, organizers might have had to cancel it due to the lack of people with experience walking in giant puppet costumes.

It’s a very specialized field.  And unfortunately all the people with experience walking in giant puppet costumes have all gotten jobs in Hollywood.  I tried placing an ad on Craigslist for a puppet master but the person who answered the ad wanted to know what my safe word was.  I don’t even think he’s ever been inside a giant puppet.  And that type of person is not what we need in the anti-war movement.

Responding to criticism that he has not done enough to help the giant puppet industry, President Obama  has promised to send to congress a stimulus bill for $10 trillion dedicated solely to building giant puppets that also act as wind turbines.

My administration is dedicated to restoring our economy, green energy and giant puppets.  Let us combine all three.

The giant puppet stimulus bill is expected to meet opposition from teabaggers who lack nuance.


4 Responses

  1. Trestin says:

    It’s hard to imagine a leftist hating anyone more than their father.

  2. They couldn’t find a giant puppet? I guess Barry was busy playing golf, huh?

  3. MK says:

    I was wondering what happened to the anti-war movement, back during the Bush years, they were caterwauling about illegal wars, fascism and all that. But now that he’s gone, they’re all quiet, no screaming, panty-tearing or incessant wailing. Real strange this.

  4. Matt says:

    Jim, I had a disturbing image of someone sticking their hand up Obama’s anus to operate him. That, and who is going to tell Soros to remove his hand?


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