Dateline December 27, 1776.  Ye Olde New York Times

Ye Olde New York Times, while always opposing the war has reserved judgment as to the actions of the so-called American army and their commander, George Washington.  However after the dastardly sneak attack on sleeping Hessian soldiers in Trenton yesterday we can no longer withhold our outrage.

In contravention of all known rules of morality, in contravention of accepted Christian principles of war Washington and his troops crossed the Delaware River, marched into the City of Trenton and, without warning, attacked sleeping Hessians of color, killing 22, wounding many more and taking almost 1000 of the King’s brave mercenaries prisoner.

The dastardly and unprovoked attack by Washington on sleeping soldiers during Christmas, a sacred day to the Germans points out that the so-called American army has repeatedly enaged in uncivilized and brutal warfare.

Is this the depths that Washington’s army has sunk?  Is this what our continent will be known as throughout the civilized world?  As a place of brutality that would make savages blush?

We ask all concerned citizens to shun Washington and his troops.  They must get the message that their tactics will not be tolerated.

We here at Ye Olde New York Times are confident that Washington and his so-called army (really a band of terrorists) will soon feel the cold fury of an enraged nation.  We are confident they will have to go into hiding.   We are confident that the troops of his Royal Highness King George III will soon capture Washington and put him on trial.

We here at Ye Olde New York Times are emboldened by the growing anti-war movement in the 13 colonies.  All throughout universities on this continent, enlightened students, representing the best and brightest of our land have been holding marches and rallies expressing their opposition to further bloodshed.

In particular we must commend one Cindy McSheehan whose son was killed by Washington’s troops during the Battle of Long Island.  This courageous woman. her tears representing her moral authority, are a reminder that every day the call for peace is growing.  We hope that soon peace will be restored to our land.

The Editorial Board of Ye Olde New York Times

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