2011 New York Earthquake: Whom is to Blame?

I need a grief counselor!On Tuesday August 23rd 2011, a date that which that which …..oh screw it. Which is correct?  That or which?  I’ve heard both people.  I’ve heard both!  It’s a date to live in infamy.  The City of New York was hit by a 5.9 earthquake on the Richter scale.

Besides the untold millions in psychological damage inflicted a wounded city united to ask itself one question:    Whom is to blame? Why me? Is the “massage” parlor still open?  Okay, technically that was three questions.  But they are one in spirit.

But whom is to blame? Yes, I know certain backward, uneducated troglodytes out there think that the earthquake was the result of “natural” forces such as so-called plate tectonics.

Hah!  I disdain your belief in plate tectonics.  I disdain your SUVs (those weapons of terror).  And most of all, I disdain your cheese!  Yes.  Your individually wrapped slices of Velveeta cheese I disdain!

Um.  What was I talking about?  Oh yes.  The earthquake.  I apologize for my anti-cheese rant but I get worked up over the subject.

The earthquake.  Whose fault is it? Some blame global warming (perhaps the tears of a polar bear tipped the fragile ecological balance?)

Perhaps Michelle Bachman caused the earthquake by her sexually permissive lifestyle? Maybe.  But I will withhold judgment on this until I fabricate see the video.

Perhaps the earthquake was caused by space aliens This alien says Stop!  Listen!  Redistribute! who wanted to send a message to Earth to stop fighting President Obama’s wise economic redistribution polices?  Maybe.  I personally think a valid case can be made for this.  But again, I will withhold judgment until the orderly gives me my medication there is proof.

But the real cause culprit behind the earthquake is we you the American people! Yes, we you are to blame!

For weeks now there has been a badge on my site asking people to contribute.  And in those weeks has any of the thousands eight people who read my blog contributed?  No!

I know what you are saying:  But Manhattan Infidel, the money they give me making license plates here in prison is not much and the money I made on my crime spree has gone to the victims.

This excuse is only partially valid.  I am not bending over for the soap.

Even though you are currently incarcerated you have a large degree of power over the five families.  Have someone on the outside give me money.

After all, we are all socialists now.

Thank you.

P.S. If any space aliens are reading my blog welcome to Earth!


13 Responses

  1. Hey1 I tried to give you some money, if you believe that one Bolivar is real money, but it was turned down. Go figure!

  2. innominatus says:

    Whoa. I see your articles in blogger’s “Follow” list and click right on ’em without seeing the front page. I didn’t even know you had a donate button or a calendar or even a blogroll. ‘Cuz none of those things even appear when I click right into the article.

    Now that I know you have a donate button I’ll start saving up some scratch.

  3. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Jim: I blame Chavez.

    Inn: You are a wise man. I have canceled my contract that I had out on you.

  4. Matt says:

    The space aliens want to know how to hide hookers in crawl spaces. They’ll be visiting you soon.

    BTW, sorry about the anal probe.

  5. MK says:

    I thought it was the climate of hate from all those Conservative terrorists banging on about freedom, small government and liberty. 🙂

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