Browsing the blog archives for August, 2010

Buffalo Kills Conservationist

A buffalo, perhaps not realizing the implications of its actions, gored and killed a veteran conservationist today. “I don’t understand why the buffalo killed him” said a friend.  “He devoted his entire life to helping oppressed buffalo.  He just wanted to make their lives better.  And get massive government grants.” The buffalo, hungry and perhaps […]

Cash-strapped New York State Finds Novel Ways of Raising Cash

Customers in a popular Manhattan deli were surprised to find that if they wanted their bagel sliced it now cost 9 cents extra.  Also, if bagels are eaten in the store, even if not touched by a knife or sliced, they cost extra. Running a 14 billion dollar deficit and with a lame-duck governor feuding […]


Secret Service Implements New Rules

In advance of President Obama’s planned fund-raising trip to Manhattan the Secret Service has published a new set of operational guidelines. “Our duty is to protect the President” said Secret Service Director Mark Sullivan.   “And we are going to use the power vested in us by the Constitution to make sure we can do our […]


From the Manhattan Infidel Archives: August 26th 410 A.D. Rome Sacked by Misunderstood and Peace-Loving Visigoths

Dateline Rome.  August 26th 410: Rome, the eternal city was sacked today by Visigoths,  a normally peaceful tribe.  As the Visigoths poured into the city, stunned Roman citizens wondered who was responsible for the first sacking of the city in almost 800 years. Many pointed the finger of blame at the previous emperor, Georgicus Bushius. […]

Vacationing in Martha's Vineyard, Obama Doesn't Take Shirt off for Press

Vacationing in Massachusetts, President Obama disappointed the hopes of many in the press corp by refusing to doff his shirt for the cameras.  Intoned Chris Matthews: Just a year into his administration President Obama has yet to bring hope and change to the people of America who voted for him.  Polls say that the people […]


*** Breaking News *** Captain Picard Unsuccessful in Attempt to Sync his Comm Badge

Jean-Luc Picard, Captain of the Starship Enterprise was unsuccessful today in an attempt to sync his contacts with his new Starfleet-issued Comm Badge. Reports indicate that the trouble started when Picard picked up his new comm badge and tried to use it without first reading the instructions. Picard:  At last, my new comm badge.  I […]

Yankees Win Despite Violent Thunderstorms

“Sometimes you win.  Sometimes you lose.  Sometimes it rains.” ~ Bull Durham I woke up today to overcast skies.  No problem I says.  It’s not like I live in Oregon.  So I took the  no. 6 train up to the  Bronx.  The Yankees were playing the Seattle Mariners. The Yankees started Carlston Charles Sabathia (17-5 […]


The Five Stages of Manhattan Infidel

As part of my long, single minded, ruthless and implacable march towards world domination (interrupted only by trips to the refrigerator to grab beer and long sojourns on my couch eating potato chips) I created the Manhattan Infidel web site.  My plan is proceeding on schedule and with any luck by 2014 the world will […]

Howdy Doody in Altercation with Police

Popular television personality Howdy Doody was released on his own recognizance this morning after an altercation with police the previous evening. Mr. Doody arrived at the T & A Strip Club shortly before 11 PM.  Surrounded by his posse Doody took a booth in the back and invited dancers over for private sessions.  According to […]

Yankees Win! Take That Johnny Damon!

“You can’t sit on a lead and run a few plays into the line and just kill the clock.  You’ve got to throw the ball over the goddamn plate and give the other man his chance.  That’s why baseball is the greatest game of them all.” ~ Earl Weaver Tonight the Yankees played game two […]