Browsing the blog archives for August, 2010
With the indictment of South Carolina Democratic Candidate for Senate Alvin Greene on charges of showing pornography to underage girls attention has focused on the history of Democratic sex. More specifically, the penchant of Democratic politicians for “high risk, high reward, high thrills” pleasure seeking. “The Democrats believe in a hands-on activist approach to many […]
The Colosseum of Rome, officially known as the Flavian Amphitheater will be rebuilt, it was announced today. “It is with great pleasure that I announce that the Flavian Amphitheater will be rebuilt” declared Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi. “It is an Italian treasure and I am proud to state that once again, after being rebuilt […]
Mayor McCheese, long-time mayor of McDonaldland was indicted today on charges of money laundering, witness tampering, fraud, conspiracy to avoid paying income tax, conspiracy to tamper with election results and conspiracy to remove a tag from a mattress. The indictments, unsealed today are the result of a year-long wiretapping of Mayor McCheese’s offices in City […]
Michelle Obama, First Lady of the United States and by common consent of most cultured people, the most beautiful woman in the world, has wrapped up a successful vacation in Spain with 40 of her closest friends. “I love Spain” said Mrs. Obama. “The people were very nice to me. I was surprised because the […]
Two airplanes, hijacked by Muslim extremists were flown into Gracie Mansion, home of the Mayor of New York. At 8:46 AM the first hijacked plane crashed into the north wing of Gracie Mansion. As flames rose into the sky and firetrucks responded to the scene, Mayor Bloomberg held a press conference on the burning front […]
“It ain’t like football. You can’t make up no trick plays” ~ Yogi Berra Is there anything more beautiful than attending a weekday matinee baseball game? It’s like a victory over life. Instead of being at work and taking grief from interns probably 20 years younger than you are, you go to a game. Now […]
“Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for having too many men on the field?” ~ Jim Bouton, 1988 Tonight I went to Yankee Stadium to see the Yankees play the Devil’s pawn, the fast fading Boston Red Sawks. As CC Sabathia pitched yesterday, today would […]
Reacting to uproar over the assassination of President Lincoln, Ford’s Theater has announced a “complete overhaul” of their security procedures. “We should have seen this coming” said the Director of Ford’s Theater. “What with our slogan and all.” He is referring to Ford’s Theater’s official slogan of “Come for the play. Stay for the assassination. […]
A new study has found that a promising new vaginal gel reduces the risk of sexually transmitted disease, including HIV infection, 89%. A clinical trial of the new gel, dubbed, “Gooey Sticky Mess 4.0” has proven quite promising in trials between coeds and their sexual partners. Researchers at the microbiology department at the University of […]
“Baseball is a harbor, a seclusion from failure that really matters, a playful utopia in which virtuosity can be savored to the third decimal place of a batting average” ~ Mark Kramer Tonight I went to the second game of the Yankees series against the Toronto “Canada loves baseball, eh” Blue Jays. As everyone knows, […]