Hijacked Planes Fly into Gracie Mansion; Mayor Bloomberg Tells First Responders to "Shut Up"

Gracie Mansion - a victim of intolerance by right wingersTwo airplanes, hijacked by Muslim extremists were flown into Gracie Mansion, home of the Mayor of New York.

At 8:46 AM the first hijacked plane crashed into the north wing of Gracie Mansion.  As flames rose into the sky and firetrucks responded to the scene, Mayor Bloomberg held a press conference on the burning front porch of Gracie Mansion.

There are many rumors floating around about the possible motives of the hijacker.  I think my opponents who are blaming Muslims just need to shut the hell up.

As he finished his press conference at 9 AM a second plane crashed into the south wing of Gracie Mansion.  As jet fuel burned and office workers jumped out second story windows, some of them on fire, the FAA refused to ground flights in the New York Metropolitan area.

“By grounding flights we are sending the wrong message” said an FAA official. “It would be a victory for the racists in American society.”  

At approximately 9:30 Gracie Mansion finally collapsed, burying workers in the rubble.  First responders, including the FDNY and the NYPD moved survivors away from the rubble.  Several first responders voiced concerns that more planes might be hijacked and crashed into the area.  An incensed Mayor Bloomberg scolded them.

It’s a shame that we even have to talk about this.   We live in a free country.  If a Muslim wants to hijack a plane and fly it into building are you going to ask him, “Where do you pray?”  Whatever happened to freedom of religion in this society?  You first responders should shut up.  If you are on a plane and you see a Muslim with a box cutter murdering a flight attendant before entering the cockpit are you going to ask him “Where do you come from?  Who are your parents? Where did you get this box cutter?”  A handful of people ought to be ashamed of themselves.

As the wreckage of Gracie Mansion smoldered, military jets patrolled the air space over Manhattan and the Pentagon debated a response.  It was decided that in the event other planes were hijacked not to attempt to shoot them down.

“We don’t want to appear judgmental” said  Admiral Michael  Mullen, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

Mayor Bloomberg has announced a memorial service for the hijackers who died at Gracie Mansion.

“Life is all about building bridges” said the Mayor.



3 Responses

  1. KingShamus says:

    Seriously, this is awesome.

    Great job, dude.

  2. Karen Howes says:

    I know this is a parody, but it’s not far from the truth at all. It’s getting harder and harder to tell satire from actual events.

    That said, great job! 🙂

  3. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Thanks KS.

    KH: Yes, unfortunately our governing class are making it harder to tell satire from actual events. I console myself by re-reading the declaration of Independence.

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