Browsing the blog archives for July, 2010
Following up on an earlier promise I have investigated further the mystery of Jack Lord’s hair. My research concentrated on three areas. Specifically, What is the nature of Jack Lord’s hair? Has Jack Lord’s hair ever manifested unexplained powers? Can prayer to Jack Lord’s hair help in difficult moments? It appears from all available evidence […]
In a troubling reminder of the worst days of the 1980s when teenagers would go “wilding”, wreaking havoc on the citizenry, gangs of rogue mathematicians are refusing to show their work creating a new climate of fear. “I went to class this morning and the professor had written a math solution on the blackboard but […]
Gor Khan, a 37 year old Klingon working at a local suicide prevention hotline has been fired after it was discovered that his “call disposition” actually led to suicides. “I blame myself for hiring him” said supervisor Greg Hughes. “He seemed like he really wanted to help. But the poor guy just didn’t have the […]
When John Baker bought a trendy five million dollar mansion on Long Island he thought it was a dream come true. Instead he heard noises in the night and furniture that had been rearranged or gone missing. “I started hearing voices. I was concerned that it might be ghosts” said Mr. Baker. “So I went […]
Twitter has a new fan. Hugo Chavez, President of Venezuela has opened his own Twitter account to, in his own words, “further the progress of the socialist revolution.” President Chavez’s first “tweet” was a message to his fellow citizens of Venezuela: Your comandante speaks to you brothers! We will fight for the socialist revolution. Do […]
Recently I had a chance to sit down with beloved commercial spokesperson Morris the Cat, who granted me an exclusive interview. MI: Morris I know you don’t often give interviews so I thank you for your time. What is a typical day in the life of Morris the Cat? Morris: Well you know many people […]
A newly released study on global warming has found that during Summer months temperatures experience an alarming increase. “This is proof of anthropogenic global warming.” The study recommends that during critical Summer months, “when man’s activities seriously threaten Sacred Mother Earth” a panel of experts, “perhaps under the guidance of the United Nations or Al […]
“What are we at the park except to win? I’d trip my mother. I’d help her up, brush her off, tell her I’m sorry. But Mother, don’t make it to third” ~ Leo Durocher Tonight I went to see the Yankee play the Los Angeles (but we play in Anaheim 30 miles away) Angels. It […]
The Greatest Story Ever Told, the 1965 blockbuster starring Max von Sydow as Jesus is going to be remade. “It won’t be just any Jesus movie” said a Hollywood executive. “It’s going to be the edgiest, hippest, greenest Jesus movie ever.” Among the differences between the original and the new version: In this version Jesus […]
“The other sports are just sports. Baseball is love” ~ Bryant Gumbel, 1981 Sunday found your humble blogger at Yankee Stadium as the Yankees took on the Tampa (Devil) Rays in the rubber game of a three game series. The Yankees started Andy Pettitte (11-2 2.70 ERA) and the (Devil) Rays started David Price (12-5 […]