Hugo Chavez Joins Twitter

Hugo Chavez twits!Twitter has a new fan.  Hugo Chavez, President of Venezuela has opened his own Twitter account to, in his own words, “further the progress of the socialist revolution.”

President Chavez’s first “tweet” was a message to his fellow citizens of Venezuela:

Your comandante speaks to you brothers! We will fight for the socialist revolution.  Do you smell sulfer?  The Devil George Bush is here!

From that first humble tweet Chavez has begun to regularly use his twitter account to broadcast messages, sometimes up to 25 or 30 times a day.  The following are just a few samples of his tweets.

Oliver Stone dropped by the Presidential Palace today to have lunch.  Nice guy though I’ve never seen one of his movies.  I asked him if I could get Leonardo DiCaprio’s autograph.

Rented the Twilight DVD.  Vampires rule!  Must remember to suppress dissent.

OMG!  OMG OMG OMG!  Angelina Jolie is here.  I’m so excited.  What a hottie!  I hope I can get to kiss her. Do you smell sulfur?  George Bush is the Devil!

I shut down an opposition TV station today that was saying bad things about me.  People suck!  Why doesn’t Angelina Jolie call?  I hope she didn’t notice my pimple.   I feel fat.

It’s Friday night.  Anyone want to get together?  I have beer at the mansion.  We can watch TV and play Twister.  George Bush is the Devil.

Spent all day in bed eating potato chips.  The other countries don’t like me.  They laugh at me and call me names.  No one understands me and sometimes I just feel like crying.  Mobilized army today.  Let’s see Columbia laugh at me now!

Big dance this Saturday night.  I want to ask Marisol to go with me but every time I pick up the phone I get nervous and hang up.  My skin is breaking out again.  Che was right. Factories are schools to educate a new socialist society!   Phone just started ringing.  I hope it’s Marisol.

The New York Times recently examined Chavez’s tweets and called it an exciting development for Democracy.

“It shows what a committed leader can do to stay in touch with his constituents.  Why doesn’t President Obama have a Twitter account? Do you smell sulfur?  I feel fat.



5 Responses

  1. KingShamus says:

    Hugo just wants to be loved.

    Awwwwww, so sweet!

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    I think we should all give him a group socialist hug. He’s just misunderstood.

  3. Matt says:

    I wonder if socialism caused the skin problems, or is it that sulfur?

  4. Manhattan Infidel says:

    It was the sulfur. Fortunately Hugo lives in a socialist worker’s paradise and no doubt has excellent government-run healthcare, like the do in the UK.

  5. MK says:

    hugo wants to be loved, many want to roast his fat, socialist ass.

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