Vacationing in Martha's Vineyard, Obama Doesn't Take Shirt off for Press

President Obama as the press would like to see himVacationing in Massachusetts, President Obama disappointed the hopes of many in the press corp by refusing to doff his shirt for the cameras.  Intoned Chris Matthews:

Just a year into his administration President Obama has yet to bring hope and change to the people of America who voted for him.  Polls say that the people are dissatisfied with his presidency. Why?  Republican propaganda blames high unemployment and unsupportable debt.  But these are all George Bush’s fault.  How can President Obama lift the spirits of America?  Simple.  Take his shirt off!  Please Mr. President take your shirt off.  Make us tingle with the bloom of youth.

Reporting from Martha’s Vineyard, MSNBC reporter Norah O’Donnell informed viewers of the President’s shirt-wearing public appearances:

O’Donnell: The weather is beautiful here but President Obama refuses to take his his shirt off while on the beach.  This can only be a tactical error his part.  If he takes his shirt off and shows me, I mean the American public, his manly upper torso the world will rally around him.  Republicans will lose whatever hopes they might have had of winning back the house in November.

Matthews:  Norah, you spoke to Robert Gibbs today.  Has he offered any word on whether the President will take his shirt off and satisfy my desires…..I mean the hopes and dreams of working America?

O’Donnell:  Yes Chris.  Gibbs mentioned that the President may, repeat may, take off his shirt tomorrow.  I certainly hope so.  I cried when I saw him with his shirt on.  My mascara started running and I felt really really angry and betrayed.  I went back to my hotel room and ripped his poster off my wall.  Then I texted my girlfriends and we cried together.

Matthews:  Thank you Norah.  Next on Hardball after the commercial break we’ll discuss why the Cubs haven’t won a world series since 1908.  Is it George Bush’s fault?  Theologians debate this. 

On Countdown, Keith Olbermann appeared with eye black and a bandanna wrapped around his head.  Grabbing an axe and chopping up his desk Olbermann said:

I am here to say that God is dead.  There is no hope for any of us unless our President, my captain, my captain, takes his shirt off.  The Republicans and their ally Satan reign supreme.  Please Mr. President, our press, I mean our nation turns its lonely eyes to you.  Take your shirt off and let an anxious nation bask in your manful presence.

In a statement released by the White House it was announced that “President Obama firmly intends to take his shirt off sometime while on vacation.  The entire press pool except for Fox will be welcome to take photos of this event.”



8 Responses

  1. KingShamus says:

    This is not new.

    You should’ve seen how the press would swoon over Rutherford B. Hayes’ manly pectorals whenver he would go to the beach.

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    KS: Rutherford B. Hayes? I see you haven’t reached stage 4 of Manhattan Infidel yet.

  3. innominatus says:

    Barry’s moobs were personally sculpted by Michaelangelo himself. There’s no other explanation.

  4. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Inn: Do not look directly at Barry’s sculpted upper torso. Mere mortals like you and I might be blinded.

  5. Karen Howes says:

    Hey, it worked for Mussolini.

  6. Manhattan Infidel says:

    KH: The difference between Mussolini and Obama is Mussolini actually liked America.

  7. Matt says:

    “KH: The difference between Mussolini and Obama is Mussolini actually liked America.”

    Sad, but true.

  8. KingShamus says:

    “KH: The difference between Mussolini and Obama is Mussolini actually liked America.”

    Best line ever, dude.

    Nice call.

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