Browsing the blog archives for December, 2017
As 2018 approaches I have been asked to turn my blog over to House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) who has a message for the American people. Take it away Nancy. Thank you Manhattan Infidel. I’d like to address the American people directly and let them know everything the […]
Local resident Charlie Brown was missing from school today. So was his teacher. It turns out they had eloped together. “This town is going to hell” said one distraught adult. I mean what the hell is wrong with the parents? Is there something in the water? We […]
Lieutenant commander Spock, Second Officer on the USS Enterprise was suspended from active duty after a “credible” claim of sexual misconduct was filed against him. If true the charges could end the career of the once-promising Vulcan officer. Even if proved not true it will be a permanent […]
A commuter train bringing in crowds to the city for the Post-Christmas sales was attacked by a giant child, which swept the train off the tracks and cruelly played with the occupants. “It was horrible. Horrible!” said a terrorized survivor. I was coming into the city to […]
Tragedy struck today as Santa, out on a test run for Christmas, collided with a flock of Canadian geese over upstate New York. Santa, his sleigh and the reindeer were last seen plummeting to the Earth in a ball of fire. “This is a sad day for us all […]
The Island of Misfit Toys, home to toys unwanted by little boys and girls, has been purchased by the Navy. “This is a good purchase for us” said Secretary of the Navy Richard Spencer. The island is strategically located and the Navy needs a place for target practice. Puerto […]
We here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ spend our every waking moment hungover and vomiting searching for the truth. Which as we all know is out there. Somewhere. Probably not in Syracuse, New York though. But for now the truth is that Al Franken […]
After an almost year-long investigation Santa Claus has been found guilty of damaging the environment and fined an undisclosed amount by the Environmental Protection Agency. “We found evidence that Santa encouraged people to hang stockings by the chimney with care” said an EPA official. What sort of science-denying deplorable […]
Frosty the Snowman, beloved anthropomorphic talking pile of snow with a corn cob pipe, button nose and two eyes made out of coal, announced today that he self-identifies as gender fluid and wishes to be known as “Frosty the Snow Z/She.” “This is a difficult and complex […]
Heavily-armed SWAT teams from the Whoville police department today shot and killed the Grinch after receiving multiple calls about home invasions on Christmas Eve. “We took the perp out with extreme prejudice” said the SWAT commander. The problem began when calls started coming into police headquarters about […]