I like ’em big and bouncy!

We here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ spend our every waking moment hungover and vomiting searching for the truth. Which as we all know is out there. Somewhere. Probably not in Syracuse, New York though.

But for now the truth is that Al Franken has resigned. Okay he said he will resign. Probably. Sometime in the upcoming weeks. Maybe. Kind of. His successor has already been appointed. But Franken hangs out. He will resign. He said so. And if you can’t trust a United States senator to keep his word then what is this world coming to?

Anyway presented for your approval and edification are the following quotes about the Al Franken Resignation Watch™ crisis that is tearing apart our Republic.

The truth is that all men having power ought to be mistrusted.  However Al Franken is a peculiar case. We can trust him. I’d make him king.  ~ James Madison

I see in the near future a crisis approaching that unnerves me and cause me to tremble for safety of my country.  We need Al Franken in the Senate. ~ Abraham Lincoln

She hate me. Love Al Franken ~ Frankenstein’s monster

Don’t call me a monster. It triggers me. ~ Frankenstein’s monster

Seriously bitch. I’ll burn your castle down with you in it. ~ Frankenstein’s monster

Every full moon I turn into a wolf, just like Al Franken when he gropes women. ~ Larry Talbot

Get  the butter. No not that one. The other one. Yes that one. Al Franken used it you know. ~ Marlon Brando

I bought a snazzy new fedora today. Looks good on me. I wish someone would take a photo of me wearing it. But where? I need a place with lots of reporters and TV cameras so people will see my hat. Oh, and I’m closing my strip clubs today to protest the railroading of Al Franken. ~ Jack Ruby

The car that I was driving on an unlit road went off a narrow bridge which had no guard rails and was built on a left angle to the road. The car overturned in a deep pond and immediately filled with water. I remember thinking as the cold water rushed in around my head that I was for certain drowning. Then water entered my lungs and I actual felt the sensation of drowning. I remember thinking “I need to live so I can serve with Al Franken.” ~ Ted Kennedy

I made immediate and repeated efforts to save Mary Jo by diving into the strong and murky current, endangering myself. Remember I needed to live so I can serve with Al Franken in the senate. So I stopped. Mary Jo? If she wanted to get out she would have. She did have nice breasts. I bet my colleague Al Franken would have loved groping them. ~ Ted Kennedy

These events, the publicity, innuendo, and whispers which have surrounded them and my admission of guilt this morning raises the question in my mind of whether my standing among the people of my State has been so impaired that I should resign my seat in the United States Senate. I keep asking myself one question. What would Al Franken do? ~ Ted Kennedy

I buy all my cigars from Al Franken. ~ Bill Clinton

You could say I have Al Franken inside me. ~ Monica Lewinsky

I have – and always shall be – Al Franken’s friend.~ Spock

What an eclectic collection of quotes about the recently announced he will resign at some indeterminate date in the future senator Al Franken!

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