Browsing the blog archives for January, 2018

Peter Rabbit is Dead!

                    Local anthropomorphic animal Peter Rabbit is dead. “My daughter wanted a pet to replace the cat we gave back to the shelter” said the little girl’s father. Yeah I know what you’re saying. Why did I return the cat? It kept peeing all over the […]

Tragedy at Pussy Hat March: Stampede Caused by Mouse Kills Hundreds!

              The 2018 Pussy March for Pussy Equality got off to a festive start in New York City over the weekend as hundreds of thousands tens of thousand thousands hundreds of marchers gathered to protest the election of the man who is literally Hitler, Donald Trump. “Hey ho this […]

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Manhattan Infidel Examines 2020 Democratic Presidential Hopeful Oprah Winfrey!

            It may seem like a long time away, but the Presidential election of 2020 is just around the corner. As a service to my readers reader  guy who stumbled upon the blog looking for porn I am going to examine the pros and cons of each candidate. Today I shall […]

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Second False Alert of Week Has Hawaii (Well Technically the Hawaiian Islands) on Edge!

              Just days after a false alarm about an incoming intercontinental ballistic missile, Hawaii (well technically the Hawaiian islands) was put on edge by another alarm sent out by the state’s Emergency Management Agency stating that a Republican had been sited and that people should seek shelter. At approximately […]

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Shithole Countries Demand President Trump Apologize!

              As outrage around the world grows, a consortium of shithole countries has formally requested that President Trump apologize for his comments. “We demand this racist, evil person apologize” said the President of Haiti. We will not have our shithole status denigrated by a country with a much higher […]

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Snow White Accuses Seven Dwarfs of “Binary Infringement”!

                Snow White filed a lawsuit against the seven dwarfs from the woods, accusing them of “White male gazing” and engaging in lewd conduct including touching and self-pleasuring upon her sleeping body. “I was asleep for one year. I can only imagine what those dwarfs did to my young, […]

Manhattan Interview’s Handy Tips for Landing That Dream Job

              We’ve all gone on job interviews. Sometimes they go well. Sometime they do not go well. Sometimes you end up asking the HR lady if “she’s into it?” The reality is job interviews are stressful. Granted not as stressful as ending up in the exact change line at a […]

My Exclusive Interview with a Brain Dead, Coked Up, Anorexic, Over the Hill Hollywood Actress

              Today at the journalistic juggernaut that is taking the world by storm known as Manhattan Infidel™ I have the pleasure of interviewing a brain dead, coked up, anorexic, over the hill Hollywood actress who will rent you her mouth for a job . Now I realize by using […]

Johnny Appleseed Named Domestic Terrorist!

            Dangerous itinerant Swedenborgian missionary John Chapman, aka, “Johnny Appleseed” has been named a domestic terrorist and placed on a no-fly list by the Department of Homeland Security. “This man is a walking menace” said an official at the Department of Homeland Security. Why he’s still alive is anyone’s guess. I’m just […]

Social Order in Oregon Breaks Down as Citizens Forced to Pump Their Own Gas!

              With rioting stretching into its second week and basic services such as electricity long since suspended much of Oregon has reverted to the wild, with packs of half-feral Oregonians wandering the streets picking through the rubble of their once-proud cities looking for food. “Look Daddy, a Cheetos. Can […]

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