Manhattan Infidel Examines 2020 Democratic Presidential Hopeful Oprah Winfrey!

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When I am president everyone gets a free car!

 

 

 

 

 

 

It may seem like a long time away, but the Presidential election of 2020 is just around the corner. As a service to my readers reader  guy who stumbled upon the blog looking for porn I am going to examine the pros and cons of each candidate. Today I shall examine Oprah Winfrey!

Pros

  • Oprah is one of the most famous people on the Earth. Even more famous than Bono and the kid who is the lead singer in the Kars for Kids commercial.  This makes her a familiar and known presence to potential voters.
  • She is black. 
  • She is a woman (albeit binary)
  • She is on television. And as has been scientifically proven if you are on television this means you the smart, important and deserve our vote.
  • She has lived in Chicago for many years and has not been shot. If she can dodge bullets she should be able to dodge potentially embarrassing questions thrown at her by the press.
  • Is well-known by many Hollywood movers and shakers such as Harvey Weinstein. And if it’s one thing middle America looks to for moral guidance it’s Hollywood.
  • Can snap a grizzly bear’s neck with her thighs.
  • Was the United States arm wrestling champion for three years in a row in the mid 2000s.
  • Stopped the invasion of Earth by the Klingon Empire because she is the only human Klingons fear.
  • Can appear in many places at once.
  • May be the daughter of God.

Cons

  • While a woman she has a vagina and appears to have been born that way. This makes her transphobic.
  • Every seven years suffers through the Pon Farr. This will be a disadvantage during her presidency.
  • As a natural black person she self-identifies as black. And sure that’s great and all but if she were a white woman who self-identified as black that would be so much better.
  • Never defeated the Kobayashi Maru test while at Star Fleet Academy.
  • Has killed 125 homeless vagrants and keeps their bodies in her crawl space. Note: This is unverified but I got the information from Fusion GPS.
  • Shot the sheriff but did not shoot the deputy Note: Also unverified. The Fusion GPS dossier I have believes she also shot the deputy.
  • Likes to cheat on her diet by eating small children. By eating small children she may lose the vegan vote.

As you can see Winfrey has significant positives as well as significant negatives. I leave it to my readers to make up their minds about a possible Oprah Winfrey presidency.

Just be careful if you go to one of her rallies. She might eat your child instead of kissing it.

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2 Comments

2 Responses

  1. LSP says:

    Please, Oprah, run in 2020.

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