Manhattan Infidel Examines 2020 Democratic Presidential Hopeful Negan!

I am a man of my word!

 

With the government shut down due to the man who is literally Hitler, Donald Trump, it is time once again to examine the crowded Democratic field for 2020. Today I look at the candidacy of perhaps the most controversial member of the field, none other than Negan himself.

Pros

  • Negan is a charismatic leader and draws followers to him. Valuable in a zombie apocalypse and certainly valuable with Democratic voters, who prize fealty and are willing to subjugate themselves to leaders they can kneel to.
  • Negan can swing a baseball bat smoother than American League rookie of the year Aaron Judge.
  • Was a car salesman before the zombie apocalypse. This proves he can sell, sell, sell and will be able to sell America on his brand of benevolent socialism.
  • Speaking of socialism, Negan wants “half your shit. … Give me the portion of your shit that I want, or I will kill you or have you killed.”
  • Giving Negan 50 percent of your shit is compassionate and fits in with the Democratic Party’s long history of compassion.
  • Unlike many Democrats who favor open borders, Negan knows how to treat those who enter his territory illegally as seen on this surveillance tape:

Cons

  • Known to have many female lovers which would make him susceptible to blackmail from Russia.
  • His anti-immigrant stance (see above video) may make it hard for him to win many primaries much less the nomination.
  • Is not a real person but imaginary.
  • Though to be fair, Barack Obama was also made up. So perhaps being imaginary would not hurt him that much after all.
  • His love of socialism (taking “half your shit”) and his smashing of skulls to a pulp can be spun by those tricky Republicans into negative ads portraying him as lacking compassion. He’s a Democrat people. He IS compassion!
  • Is untested politically and will make tactical errors (like being filmed smashing someone’s skull to a pulp).
  • No one knows if he is pro-abortion. This is necessary for any Democratic to win the nomination.
  • Prefers Greek yogurt to regular yogurt.
  • Rumored to put pineapple on his pizza (a sign of mental illness).

Negan will no doubt be a controversial candidate who will act as a lightning rod. While many will vote for him there are also those who will oppose him no matter what.

Once again, I leave the decision on who to vote for in the hands of my readers.

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2 Comments

2 Responses

  1. LSP says:

    I don’t know if Negan should run. Is he a transsexual person of color?

    • Manhattan Infidel says:

      No unfortunately. Granted not being a transsexual person of color could be a big disadvantage but I think he can still win the nomination.

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