Browsing the blog archives for May, 2016
“How was I to know she was underage? I mean she told me but she could have been lying.” ~ Joe Pepitone On a cold, rainy, ugly night in the Bronx the Yankees started a three-game home stand against the team with the best record in the AL, the Chicago White Sox. The Yankees started […]
Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the pleasure of interviewing actress, producer, blogger and former spouse of Cold Play lead vocalist Chris Martin, Gwyneth Paltrow. MI: Good afternoon Ms. Paltrow. [Paltrow does not respond] MI: Ms. Paltrow? GP: Manhattan Infidel, do you believe in intimacy and energetic polarity? MI: I’m not sure. What does that mean? GP: I believe […]
Recovering in a hospital room after falling off the Empire State Building, King Kong could only complain. “You know I heard New Yorkers were nice to tourists” said the heavily bandaged Megaprimatus Kong. I’m from an island in the south pacific so New York was a little scary at first. But I had one of […]
The National Aeronautics and Space Administration, stung by recent criticism that it can’t even put an astronaut into space, announced today that it has hired a cow to jump over the moon. “This will bring us into the 21st century” said NASA administrator Charles Bolden. We have heard the criticism that we are a useless agency whose […]
In another blow to the long-dead concept of Federalism and States Rights, the United States announced that it will be suing North Carolina because of that State’s anti-LGBT legislation. “The state of North Carolina seeks to force transsexuals to use the bathroom of their sex at birth, which was an accident, rather than respect the […]
Mayor Warren Wilhelm, Jr. (stage name Bill de Blasio), the notoriously mentally-challenged mayor of New York City has upped the war on food. “Chick-fil-A is anti-LGBT” said Mayor Wilhelm, who continues to defy expectations by walking upright. This group imparts a strong anti-LGBT message by forcing their employees and volunteers to adhere to a policy […]
January 19, 2025, Washington DC. Tomorrow President Hillary Clinton will hand off the office to her hand-picked successor: her husband Bill. As a loyal member of the MSM it is my duty to remind my readers how great she has been for our country. As such I want to give you what I feel are […]
Make up and hair by oh who cares Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the distinct pleasure of interviewing the Bride of Frankenstein. MI: Good afternoon Bride of Frankenstein. It’s a pleasure to talk to you. BOF: First off I’m not his bride. Okay. We went out once. I am not in a committed relationship with him. […]
Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the pleasure of interviewing an ancient Egyptian mummy who calls himself Imhotep who swears he is not Boris Karloff. MI: Good afternoon, um, mummy? NBK: You may address me as Imhotep. I am an ancient Egyptian priest who was revived by foolish archeologists. MI: Really? Because you look a lot like Boris […]
Mickey and Minnie Mouse shocked their fans today by announcing that they are in an “Open, yet committed relationship.” “This totally came out of left field” said their friend Donald Duck. They always seemed so happy together. I never would have suspected anything like this. I guess I should have known. Minnie would drop hints […]