My Exclusive Interview With the Bride of Frankenstein

Make up and hair by oh who cares

Make up and hair by oh who cares

Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the distinct pleasure of interviewing the Bride of Frankenstein.

MI: Good afternoon Bride of Frankenstein. It’s a pleasure to talk to you.

BOF: First off I’m not his bride. Okay. We went out once.  I am not in a committed relationship with him.

MI: I’m sorry.  So tell me about you and the monster?

BOF: Me and Frankie met on Tinder. He seemed nice so we met. He was sweet. He held my hand.  

Me Frankenstein me want companionship talk about feelings watch romantic comedies

Me Frankenstein me want companionship talk about feelings watch romantic comedies

No man does that. Once he held my hand I thought I was in love. When the date ended I texted all my girlfriends that I was in love! 

MI: Then what happened?

BOF: When I got home my phone was blowing up.  Turns out Frankie had sent me 600 dick photos!

Gross! All men are alike!

Gross! All men are alike!

Plus he wanted to know if I was into threesomes. And not conventional FFM threesomes either. If I wanted to have group sex I’d go out with an NBA player. Or Warren Beatty. Or Jimmy Page. Or Bill Clinton.  I’m not that type of girl. 

MI: Wow. That must have been very disappointing.

BOF: He broke my heart.  I just want to find someone for me. I was hoping he could restore my faith in men. Well guess what.  No more!  From now on I won’t let a man hold my hand unless he pays me.

MI: So you’re becoming a –

BOF: A realistic businesswoman.  If I can’t have love then I’ll have money.

MI: I’m sorry to hear that because I have a surprise for you.

BOF:  What?

MI: I called him before I talked to you and he agreed to meet me here. Frankie come on out!

BOF: Ah f*ck! What’s he doing here?

MI: Frankie is there anything you want to tell her?

F: Frankenstein sorry for sending dick photos. Frankenstein feel shame.

BOF: Oh Frankie.  Do you really mean that?

F: Frankenstein genuine. Frankenstein want second chance.

BOF: Oh Frankie stop. You’re going to make me cry.

F: Frankenstein bring flowers.

MI: Now don’t the two of you feel better?  

BOF:  Oh thank you Manhattan Infidel I don’t know how to thank you.

MI: How about a threesome with me and Frankie?

F: Woman no like dick photo. Woman want real thing.

BOF: The hell with both of you! I was right all along about men!  Goodbye!

[Bride of Frankenstein leaves]

MI: Wait come back. I brought lubricant and tostitos!

F: She hate me!

Women!  Am I right or am I right?


4 Responses

  1. petermc3 says:

    Herman Muster would bang her in a heartbeat.

  2. LSP says:

    That was a pretty moving interview. Apart from the blatant patriarchal oppression and oppressive binary gender stereotyping.

    Thanks, Infidel.

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