Browsing the blog archives for March, 2013
Easter is just around the corner and with that in mind today it is my pleasure to introduce the one and only Easter Bunny. MI: Good afternoon Mr. Bunny. Is that what you prefer to be called? What should I call you? EB: Just call me whatever the hell you want. Hey, you got a […]
Shortly before dinner time last evening the rumors started coming in over the wires: Porn stars really do enjoy their work. Famous puffy-faced Hollywood superstar Ashley Judd had decided against a run for the United States Senate. But let’s have Ms. Judd speak for herself. Here is the official announcement: After serious and thorough contemplation, […]
Perhaps there is no more legendary New York filmmaker than Martin Scorsese. Using the city as a backdrop he has directed some of the greatest movies ever. I was fortunate enough recently to have the opportunity to interview him. MI: Good afternoon Mr. Scorsese. I’m a fan. MS: Of course you are. Why wouldn’t […]
In a move that surprised many, Satan today announced that he has permanently banned Al Gore from Hell. “I just couldn’t take it anymore” Satan told reporters during a conference call to explain his actions. I mean from the moment he died and ended up down here he’s been nothing but a pain in […]
The Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry has announced today an affirmative action program for its school. “I am proud of Hogwarts and the work we do preparing the next generation of little shits, er, I mean wizards” declared Deputy Head Mistress Minerva McGonagall. But I must admit that our students are, well, white. Very […]
Tragedy struck the tight-night world of show business today as legendary singer Olivia Newton-John was killed in a grease fire at her residence in Florida. Reports indicate that Ms. Newton-John was cooking a meal for husband, John Easterling whe the fire broke out. Instead of placing a cover on the pan and smothering the […]
U.S.Department of Treasury Washington D.C. From the office of the Secretary of the Treasury, Jacob J. Lew Good afternoon American bank account holders! By now you’ve probably heard of a minor scuffle in Cyprus involving the taxation of bank accounts of ordinary citizens. Many of you may be concerned and are asking yourselves, “Can something […]
We here at the worldwide headquarters of Manhattan Infidel pride ourselves on our knowledge of words. For words are the medium through which we communicate. The wrong choice of words can lead to misunderstanding. Like the other night at the bar when I asked the college girl if she would like to touch it. […]
The teaching of right angles will be dropped from the curriculum of America’s public schools after it was announced that they are considered “racist and not in keeping with mainstream American values.” Declared DNC chairperson Debbie Wasserman Schultz: If President Obama’s election and reelection have shown anything, it is that it is time for […]
As part of his war against obesity Mayor Bloomberg announced today that 32-ounce AIDS cocktails will now be unavailable in New York City. At the press conference announcing his measure Bloomberg expressed concern over the waistlines of AIDS sufferers. “Why do you need to drink a 32-ounce AIDS cocktail anyway” said the mayor. You’re […]